Astoria's Riverfront Paradise: Unbeatable Views at Best Western Columbia River!
Astoria's Riverfront Paradise: Unbeatable Views at Best Western Columbia River!
Astoria's Riverfront Rollercoaster: A Review of the Best Western Columbia River (and My Sanity's Demise)
Okay, buckle up folks, because I'm about to unleash a torrent of opinions – and maybe some mild existential dread – about the Best Western Columbia River in Astoria. Forget your polished travel blogs, this is the raw, unfiltered truth, complete with typos and the lingering scent of hotel-grade disinfectant.
Metadata & SEO, Because Apparently That's Important (Sigh):
- Keywords: Best Western Columbia River Astoria, Astoria hotel review, Columbia River views, Oregon coast hotel, accessible hotel, spa hotel, pool with a view, free wifi, pet-friendly hotel (but seriously, read the fine print), family-friendly hotel Astoria
- Meta Description: A brutally honest review of the Best Western Columbia River Astoria, covering everything from the stunning views to the questionable breakfast buffet, the (mostly) accessible features, and the existential angst of being trapped in a hotel room. Dive in!
And now, the chaos begins…
Arrival: Views That Steal Your Breath (and Maybe Your Wallet)
The first thing that hits you, literally, is the view. My god, the view. The Columbia River, vast and glistening, stretches out before you, a sprawling canvas of blues and greens. And the bridge! Iconic, majestic, a photo op waiting to be pounced upon. I swear, I spent the first hour just staring out the window, my jaw permanently agape. Pure, unadulterated bliss. (But let's be honest, I also immediately started Googling "can you get a better view from other hotels in Astoria?" because, you know, competitive traveler.)
Accessibility: Trying To Be Nice, But…
Okay, so, accessibility. They say they’re accessible, and they do have some things in place. There’s an elevator (thank GOD) and ramps. I saw some rooms listed as "accessible" which is good. BUT… (and there's always a but, isn't there?) The devil is in the details. The hallways felt a tad narrow. And I have no personal experience needing wheelchair assistance to give you a thorough evaluation. I'm guessing, based on the size of things, it probably is good, but… I don't know. (I need to be very clear about the limitations, as well.)
Rooms: A Mixed Bag of Comfort and Contemplation
My room? Air conditioning worked, thank the heavens (and the climate gods). Blackout curtains were a LIFESAVER for sleeping off the jetlag and my general state of semi-exhaustion. The bed was…okay. Not the most comfortable I've ever slept in, but certainly not a torture device. A lot of amenities.
- Things I loved: The free Wi-Fi (yes, even in the rooms! Praise be!). The little fridge. (Gotta keep that leftover clam chowder COLD.) Bathrooms were nice.
- Things that made me squint suspiciously: The somewhat generic room decorations. The "extra long bed" didn't feel that extra long. And the relentless feeling of being in a hotel room. You know? That feeling. The existential weight of it all.
Food, Glorious Food…or Not:
- Breakfast Buffet (shudders): Alright, let's be real. The breakfast buffet was…functional. Standard hotel fare: scrambled eggs that tasted suspiciously like rubber, questionable sausage, and a waffle iron that probably hasn’t been cleaned since the Clinton administration. I did, however, discover a hidden stash of mini-muffins that I may have hoarded. (Don’t judge me, I needed carbs.) I noticed some gluten-free pastries which made me happy.
- Restaurants and Drinking: There’s a casual restaurant/bar on site. It had okay food and good drinks, a place to chill.
- Coffee Shop: Yes!! There was a coffee shop. I found it. I stalked it. I consumed copious amounts of caffeine. Good coffee is a necessity for my survival.
Things to Do & Ways to (Attempt to) Relax: The Spa Delusions
- The Pool with a View: Yes, the pool does have a view. A very, very nice view. It's an outdoor pool, which is great when the weather decides to cooperate. I spent an hour there just floating, pretending I didn't have a mountain of emails to answer.
- Spa/Sauna/Steamroom/Massage: Now Where Was I? I saw options for a spa/sauna/massage, and I imagined myself blissfully getting a massage. But I ended up being so busy… I never got around to it.
- Fitness Center: I walked past the fitness center. I didn't go in. Let's just say my definition of "fitness" involves strategic napping.
Cleanliness and Safety: Sanitization Nation!
They seemed to be REALLY serious about cleaning. Hand sanitizer stations everywhere. Staff wearing masks. Everything felt clean, which is a major win, especially these days. They mentioned the individually-wrapped food options, which might or might not make the breakfast buffet seem less depressing.
Services and Conveniences: The Hotel's Helpful Hand
- Wi-Fi for Special Events: I didn't attend any special events, but hey, they have Wi-Fi for them!
- Luggage Storage: I was thankful for this. Luggage in the room is the worst.
- Dry Cleaning/Laundry Service: I used them! (I needed clean clothes.)
- Business Facilities: I'm pretty sure I saw a Xerox machine. This is good for business people.
For the Kids: Bless Their Little, Annoying Hearts
I didn't have any kids with me, but I did see a family. This hotel felt more kid-friendly than some I've been to.
Getting Around: Freedom (That Costs Money)
Free parking! Thank goodness! Airport transfer to get here! Also, there are taxi service.
My Final Verdict (Brace Yourselves):
The Best Western Columbia River is a decent hotel. The views are genuinely show-stopping. The staff were friendly and helpful. The cleaning standards were impressive. But it's not perfect. It’s a solid choice, but like life, it has its ups and downs. The breakfast is mediocre. The rooms are… rooms. But, ultimately, the good outweighs the bad. I'd stay here again. Especially for that view. And maybe, just maybe, I'll actually get that massage next time. Probably not.
Escape to Paradise: Nirili Villa, Maldives - Your Dream Vacation Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's travel itinerary. We're talking about the Best Western Columbia River Waterfront Hotel in Astoria, Oregon, and my attempt to survive it while hopefully having some semblance of fun. Consider this… a messy, real-life, "I-forgot-to-pack-deodorant" kind of trip.
The Unofficial, Slightly Chaotic, & Probably Smudged-With-Coffee-Stains Astoria Adventure
Day 1: Arrival & Questionable First Impressions (aka, the "WHY DID I CHOOSE THIS ROOM" Day)
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at the Astoria-Warrenton Airport. (Side note: Astoria has an airport? I thought this was a joke at first. It's tiny. Seriously, tiny. Reminds me of a glorified shed. But hey, it has an airport.) The rental car pick-up is… well, let's say the guy looked like he'd rather be wrestling a badger. Paperwork signed (somehow), and I'm off.
- First impression of the Best Western: Okay, so the reviews said "dated," and they weren't kidding. Think early 90s. Think… beige. So. Much. Beige. My room has a view… of the parking lot. Joy. I already feel a deep, soul-crushing disappointment.
- 2:00 PM: Unpack. Realize I forgot the aforementioned deodorant. Panic briefly. Decide to embrace the "au naturel" scent profile for the next few days. (This is going to go GREAT.)
- 2:30 PM: Stalk around the hotel like a lost puppy, trying to orient myself. I swear, the hallways are a maze. Find the alleged "pool" – it's less resort-style and more… community center. Looks clean, though. And empty. Hmmm. Tempting… maybe not.
- 3:00 PM: Venture out. First stop: The Astoria Column. Holy. Cow. The view. Okay, maybe Astoria isn't so bad after all. The climb up is… intense. (Note to self: work out more.) But the panorama? Gorgeous. Makes you feel… small. Which, hey, sometimes you need.
- Anecdote: Almost got blown off the column. I swear, the wind up there is insane. Grabbed onto a railing for dear life while simultaneously trying to snap a selfie. Glamorous, I am not.
- 4:30 PM: Wander around downtown Astoria. Super cute! Lots of shops and restaurants. I'm starving.
- 5:30 PM: Dinner at Bowpicker Fish & Chips. Okay, so I'd heard about this place. The hype is real, people. Seriously. Best fish and chips I've ever had. Crispy batter, flaky fish, perfect fries. Worth the (inevitably long) wait. I'd eat it every day.
- Quirky Observation: I noticed that everyone, and I mean everyone, seemed to know each other. Small town vibes are in full swing. I felt like an outsider staring at their insider jokes.
- 7:00 PM: Back to the hotel room. Stare at the beige. Contemplate finding a different hotel. Decide against it because I can't be bothered. Watch some TV (it's decent, a little bit of Netflix).
Day 2: "Goonies" & (Hopefully) Less Beige
- 9:00 AM: Wake up. Realize I'd forgotten to set an alarm. Sigh. Grab some complimentary hotel coffee (it tastes like sadness.) Contemplate a second cup. Decide I don’t want to lose my mind.
- 9:30 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. (It’s included, right?) It's continental. Nothing to write home about. I should have gone to a local bakery.
- 10:30 AM: GOONIES! Go on the Goonies tour, of course. Feeling slightly embarrassed as I hop out of the car. I'm, like, 30 years old. But hey, it was essential, right?
- Emotionally Charged Moment: Standing at the Goonies house (the one that's still there) and I had this weird rush of nostalgia. It's such a silly film, but it's a part of a childhood I still have close connections with. Seeing the locations in person was surreal and kinda beautiful. I am not ashamed to report a small tear. Okay, maybe a small tear.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at a local cafe after the tour. I ordered a ridiculously large sandwich. Ate the entire thing. Regret it immediately.
- 1:30 PM: Explore the Columbia River Maritime Museum. Actually, really interesting. Ships, history, all that jazz. I'm not normally a museum person, but this was actually good. I'm learning!
- Rambling Moment: The sheer size of some of those ships! And the stories of the lives they lived on board! It was just a lot to take in. It was so messy, and I was so glad for that.
- 3:30 PM: Walk along the Astoria Riverwalk. So nice. Breathe deeply and try to quell my rising anxieties.
- 5:00 PM: Happy Hour at a brewery. (Gotta support the local businesses, right?) The beer is good. The atmosphere is… Astoria. Everyone's friendly, which is nice.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a different restaurant. I can't remember the name, but it was good. (I'm relying on my notes here, people, and they're sparse).
Day 3: Leaving Astoria & A Promise to Return (Maybe)
- 9:00 AM: Wake up. The beige hasn't miraculously transformed into something Instagrammable. Pack. (Oh, the joy.)
- 10:00 AM: Check out of the hotel.
- 10:30 AM: One last stroll through Astoria. Grab a coffee. Try to soak it all in.
- More Rambling: This town… It has character. It's not perfect. It's a little rough around the edges. But it's genuine. And, surprisingly, I've come to kind of like it. The people were warm and welcoming. And I’ve eaten so much delicious food.
- 12:00 PM: Drive back to the tiny airport.
- 1:00 PM: Depart. I will go out of my mind if I have to wait an hour so I will buy magazines and coffee.
- Final Thought: Astoria… I'll be back. Maybe. And next time, I'll get a better (non-beige) hotel room. And remember the damn deodorant.
Post-Trip Musings:
Astoria is a place that creeps up on you. It doesn't hit you over the head with its charm. It slowly, subtly, works its way under your skin. Did I love everything? Nope. Did I have perfect weather? Absolutely not. Did I feel constantly self-conscious, trying to navigate a different town? Yes. But the food was amazing, the history was fascinating, and the people were friendly. And the Goonies house! I will never forget the Goonies house. This trip was an interesting mixture of chaos, relaxation, and a reminder that sometimes it is better to just let go and embrace imperfection. Is that the best travel memory? Maybe.
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Astoria's Riverfront Paradise: Unbeatable Views at Best Western - The REAL Deal FAQs
Is the view *really* as good as they say? Because let's be honest, hotel marketing is a LIE sometimes...
Alright, buckle up buttercup, because the view... it's *almost* a problem. I mean, you'll spend half your time staring out the window and the other half thinking about how much you *want* to stare out the window. It's that good. I stayed in the "Deluxe River View" room, and frankly, I think I paid too little. Seriously, the river, the bridge... the way the light hits the water in the morning? Forget about it. One morning, I swear I saw a seal popping its head up right in front of my window! I actually cried a little. I'm not proud. But yeah, the view? Nailed it.
What about the rooms themselves? Are they... you know... *hotel rooms*?
Okay, let's be real. It's a Best Western. Don't expect the Ritz. The rooms are… functional. Clean-ish. I wouldn't go poking around *too* closely in the corners, mind you. I did find a rogue Skittle under the bed. Green, so I didn't touch it. The bed was reasonably comfy. The pillows? Well, they were there. Not amazing, not terrible. The biggest drawback? The air conditioning. It sounded like a small plane taking off. But hey, who needs AC when you have that view to distract you? Besides, I left the window cracked open for a bit and some seagulls started squawking outside. That's the Northwest for you. You either love the birds or you hate them.
Breakfast? Is it the sad, watery, continental kind?
Listen, I'm a breakfast snob. I *need* good coffee. And scrambled eggs that don't look like fluorescent yellow rubber. The Best Western's breakfast? Okay, it’s… fine. The coffee wasn’t awful (praise be!). They had those little pre-packaged muffins, the kind that you *know* are full of everything artificial. I did, however, find a decent hard-boiled egg to balance out the sweetness. The best part? The breakfast area overlooks the river. So, you can sip your mediocre coffee while gazing at that majestic scenery. It’s a small win, but I’ll take it. Honestly, I think they should put a waffle maker in the main lobby, just to make the whole thing a bit less… depressing.
How's the location? Is it easy to get around?
The location? Perfect for me. It's right on the riverwalk, which is great for a stroll, especially at sunset. You're close to lots of restaurants and shops – even the Astoria Column's a pretty quick drive. Seriously, I walked to a little seafood joint and had the best fish and chips of my life... or maybe it was just the view and the salty air making the food taste amazing. It's all easily walkable, assuming you don't mind a bit of a climb now and then, Astoria is a bit HILLY. But seriously, the location is a HUGE plus. You can park the car and actually *enjoy* Astoria. (And I say this as someone with a terrible sense of direction.)
What about parking? Is it a nightmare, like at so many other hotels?
Parking? Not bad, actually. They have their own lot, and I never had too much trouble finding a space. It’s not the *most* spacious lot in the world, so it can fill up during peak hours. There's also some street parking nearby if you’re feeling lucky. It's way better than some places where you're circling for half an hour, though. I’m used to struggling to find parking, so I was pleasantly surprised. Just… don't arrive at midnight. You might be in trouble then.
Okay, so I'm sold on the view. But are there any downsides I should know about? (be honest!)
Alright, real talk time. First, the walls are *thin*. I could hear the guy in the next room snoring. Loudly. Bring earplugs. Second, the elevator is slow. Very slow. It feels like it takes an eternity to go up a single floor. And third... the website photos. They're *good*. Too good, maybe. The rooms are a bit more… lived-in than the pictures suggest. Don't expect some kind of newly renovated penthouse, okay? But honestly? The view makes up for almost everything. It really does. The location is also pretty loud at night and the boats are honking! Be prepared for that if you're a light sleeper.
Would you stay there again? Would you recommend it? Spill the tea!
YES. A thousand times, YES. I'm booking my next trip *right now*. Even with the quirks (the snoring neighbor! The sad muffins!), the view is worth every penny. I *loved* it. I can forgive a lot for a truly stunning panorama. The location is perfect, Astoria is a great town, and honestly, the Best Western is… fine. More than fine, actually. Look, if you're after luxury and perfection, this ain't it. But if you want a genuinely amazing view, a good location, and a decent place to lay your head… book it. Seriously, go. You won't regret it. Just... bring earplugs. And maybe your own coffee.
Anything else I should know? (Like, is there a good ice cream place nearby?)
Okay, you want the *real* insider info? Absolutely. There's this little ice cream shop, that's a short walk away. I think it’s called “Frida's Ice Cream” or something. Get the huckleberry. Seriously. GET. THE. HUCKLEBERRY. I went there every single day. *Every. Single. Day.* And I'm not even a huge ice cream person! And yes, it's better than the view. Just... don't tell anyone I said that. Also, there's a really quirky bookstore downtown, I got lost in it for HOURS. And don't skip the Maritime Museum. It's more interesting than it sounds. Now go! Enjoy Astoria! And tell them I sent you... although, maybe don't. I want Frida's all to myself when I return. Ha!
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