Uncover the Secrets of Onyx in St. Petersburg: A Hidden Gem Revealed!

Onyx Saint Petersburg Russia

Uncover the Secrets of Onyx in St. Petersburg: A Hidden Gem Revealed!

Uncover the Secrets of Onyx in St. Petersburg: A Hidden Gem…Maybe? (A Frankly Exhausting Review)

Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I just survived (and barely) a stay at the enigmatic Onyx in St. Petersburg. This place… it’s a thing. And I’m here to dissect the whole shebang, warts and all. Consider this a therapy session, but with a keyboard.

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Meta Description: Honest review of Onyx in St. Petersburg! Accessibility, dining, spa, and more - all the messy details you need to know before you book. Is it really a hidden gem? Find out!

Accessibility: (The First Hurdle…Literally)

Let’s start with the basics, shall we? Accessibility. Onyx claims to have facilities for disabled guests. That's what the website shouts, anyway. I wasn't personally testing that out, thank heavens. But I did notice… well, let's just say the entrance wasn't exactly a welcoming haven for someone in a wheelchair. The steps… oh, the steps. I saw a ramp somewhere, but honestly, navigating the first few feet felt like a quest in itself. So, caveat emptor to all my accessibility-minded travelers. (Rating: 3/5 - Could be better, frankly.)

Getting Around & the Car Park (The Periphery of the Perplexing):

Okay, getting around. The elevator did work. Thank goodness. Parking? Ah yes, the free car park… which was basically a free-for-all. Finding a spot felt like winning the lottery. And there was a car power charging station. Nice touch! (Mixed bag. 3.5/5).

Internet: (My Lifeline - or Lack Thereof!)

Okay, so internet. Onyx promised the world. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Huzzah! And… it worked. Sometimes. Honestly, it was a bit like a temperamental lover. One minute it's blazing fast, the next it's buffering at dial-up speeds. I tried the internet [LAN], you know, the wired option? Forget about it. I think I saw a dusty cable dangling from a wall… somewhere. (Rating: 3/5 - Frustrating, but survived.)

Rooms: (A Mixed Bag, Like My Life)

My room? Oh boy. Let's be honest, it was adequate. Clean-ish. They promised daily housekeeping, and they delivered! The bed? Comfy enough. The blackout curtains were a godsend, especially after one too many vodka-fueled nights wandering the canals. They even had a hair dryer… a lifesaver after that Russian rain. I appreciated the complimentary tea and the free bottled water because I needed it! But the décor… let’s just say it leaned heavily into the “hotel chain trying to be fancy” aesthetic. There was a desk - which was important, because that how I worked! (Rating: 3.5/5 - Functional, but not particularly memorable.)

The "Things to Do" Rant: Spa, Pools, and Gyms - Oh My!

This is where things got… interesting. The Onyx boasts a spa, a pool with a view, a sauna, a steam room, a gym! Sounds amazing, right?

The Pool: The pool did have a view. A rather nice one, actually. On a clear day, with a cocktail, it would've been heavenly. But the water was… chilly. And it was packed with people. And, let's be honest, I think some of the pool loungers had been there since the last ice age. (3/5 - The view saves it.)
The Spa: The Spa… Okay, here’s the thing. I booked a massage. I'm pretty good at massages, if I say so myself. The massage was… fine. I've had better. I've had worse. The spa staff were polite, but the atmosphere felt sterile. The "relaxation area" looked like a doctor's waiting room. I think they wanted me to do a body scrub and body wrap. I was too chicken. (2.5/5 - Felt very… clinical.)
The Gym: The Fitness Center was fine. Functional even. It had the usual equipment. I did a spin class. The lack of atmosphere was disappointing. Felt like they forgot to put in the fun. (3/5 - Basic, does the job.)
The Sauna, and the Steamroom..: Okay, these were good!. The sauna was hot, the steamroom steamy. No complaints there. (4/5)

Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: (Fueling the Chaos)

Restaurants: There are restaurants within the Onyx. They claim to have International cuisine and an Asian Cuisine. Also Western cuisine. Also a Vegetarian restaurant. I may be making this up. I ate at the Buffet in the restaurant. It was a buffet. Food. Not exceptional. Lots of options, though a lot of the food looked like it had been sitting there for a while. The coffee shop was pretty good. (3/5 - A grab bag of hits and misses. The coffee saved it.)
Room Service: 24-hour room service! This is a plus! Especially when you are exhausted and can't be bothered to find something else. (5/5 - I love Room Service.)
The Bar: The Bar was nice. I spent a lot of time there. The Poolside bar was a nice touch, but it was cold. The Happy Hour was a plus! (4/5 - The Bar was nice)

Cleanliness and Safety: (The Covid-19 Tango)

Onyx seemed to be taking the pandemic seriously. They had Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer everywhere. The staff were Staff trained in safety protocol. Everything was Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. They gave away Hand Sanitizer! I appreciated the effort. I didn't opt-out of the Room sanitization opt-out available option. (4/5 - Reassuring, except the pool water.)

Services and Conveniences: (The Little Things?)

Concierge: The concierge was helpful… when you could find them. They seemed to be perpetually overwhelmed, but they did their best.
Daily Housekeeping: The Daily Housekeeping was great.
Laundry Service: The Laundry Service was super helpful.
Currency Exchange: The Currency exchange was handy.
Gift/Souvenir shop: The Gift/Souvenir shop was expensive.
Other: They had Facilities for disabled guests, but I question how useful those were. Elevator was okay!. Meeting/banquet facilities (didn't use). Air conditioning in public area. Luggage storage. Safe deposit boxes. (3.5/5- A mixed bag).

For the Kids: (I Don't Have Kids. So, I'm Guessing.)

They had a Babysitting service and Kids meal. I imagine this is a win. (rating - Not applicable)

The Verdict: Hidden Gem? Hmmm… Maybe Not.

So, is Onyx a hidden gem? Frankly, no. It’s more like a… standard experience with occasional flashes of brilliance. The staff were generally pleasant, try to be. The spa needs work, but the pool has potential. The internet is a gamble. The whole experience is… a bit uneven. Would I go back? Probably not. But if you're looking for a place in St. Petersburg, with reasonable amenities, then Onyx might fit the bill. Just don't expect perfection. And pack your own fast internet.

Overall Rating: 3/5 Stars - "Could be better after a few upgrades!"

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Onyx Saint Petersburg Russia

Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we’re diving headfirst into my completely unfiltered and probably slightly disastrous itinerary for Saint Petersburg. Forget those pristine, airbrushed travel blogs. This is the raw, the real, the “did-I-seriously-just-eat-that-questionable-looking-pirozhki-on-a-freezing-cold-bridge?” version. Prepare for a bumpy ride. And copious amounts of vodka, probably.

Onyx Saint Petersburg: A Messy, Beautiful Adventure

Day 1: Arrival and…Well, Let's See Where the Vodka Leads Us.

Morning (7:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Arrive at Pulkovo Airport (LED). Ugh, airports. The fluorescent lights always make me feel like a plucked chicken. Pray the baggage handlers are having a good day. Transfer to my (hopefully not haunted) hotel in the Onyx area. I'm already envisioning a cozy little place with a crackling fireplace, only to be met with something resembling a Soviet-era detention cell. Fingers crossed!
Morning (9:00 AM - 11:00 AM): Check-in. Breathe. Assess the room. Critically. Does the window open? Is the bed actually a bed? And most importantly, is there a mini-fridge? (Priorities).
Brunch (11:00 AM - 12:30 PM): Find some real Russian food, hopefully, near the hotel. Forget the fancy Instagrammable cafes. I'm looking for something authentic. Something where the babushkas are serving up steaming bowls of borscht with a side of side-eye. Pray for no lingering garlic breath on the plane
Afternoon (12:30 PM - 4:00 PM): A wander around the Onyx area. This is the "get your bearings" stage. I'm planning on getting slightly lost, looking like a confused tourist, and maybe stumbling upon a hidden gem or two. The goal? To embrace the chaos.
Afternoon (4:00 PM - 6:00 PM): First (of many?) cultural indulgences: Maybe a glimpse of the Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood. (It's got an intense name, so it must be good, right?) Expect: crowds, awe, and probably some minor existential dread.
Evening (6:00 PM onward): Dinner. Find a place with live music and a serious vodka selection. This is where things get… interesting. Because, let's be honest, my Russian language skills are limited to "spasibo" and "vodka, pozhaluysta." Expect: attempted conversations with locals involving wild gestures, questionable pronunciation, and a whole lot of laughter (at my expense, probably). The evening might end up at a rooftop bar, and maybe a dance club.

Day 2: Palaces, Peterhof, and the Perils of Public Transport

Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Palace Day! The Winter Palace and the Hermitage Museum. Okay, I know this is a must-do, but, let's be honest… museums can be overwhelming. Expect: crowds, beautiful art, and me secretly wishing I had a comfy chair and a pack of cookies.
Afternoon (12:00 PM - 1:00 PM): Lunch. Fuel up for more palace-ing. Maybe grab some street food. I'm thinking something greasy and delicious.
Afternoon (1:00 PM - 5:00 PM): A trip to Peterhof! (The fountains! The grandeur! The sheer distance from the city!) I'm planning on taking public transport. Wish me luck. I've heard the metro is beautiful, but navigating it sounds like a Herculean task. Expect: potential wrong trains, getting hopelessly lost, and probably a few moments of sheer panic.
Evening (5:00 PM - 7:00 PM): Back in the city.
Evening (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM): Relax, dinner at a restaurant.
Evening (9:00 PM onward): Nightlife! Let the good times roll! Expect - and possibly regret - a late night out.

Day 3: Canals, Churches, and Cultural Overload (Probably with a Headache)

Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): A boat tour on the canals. This is my "pretend I'm a sophisticated European" moment. Expect: beautiful views, the wind in my hair, and maybe a slight bout of seasickness (I’ve heard the water here isn't exactly the cleanest).
Afternoon (12:00 PM - 1:30 PM): Lunch. (I need food, I need energy, I need to keep going!)
Afternoon (1:30 PM - 4:30 PM): Visit St. Isaac's Cathedral. (Another big church, I know, but come on, it's Saint Petersburg!). Expect: more awe, more crowds, and me wondering how they built these things without modern technology.
Afternoon (4:30 PM - 6:00 PM): Final souvenir shopping. (Because I, like, need a matryoshka doll that looks like Putin. Just kidding… or am I?)
Evening (6:00 PM onward): Farewell dinner. Because Saint Petersburg is beautiful! Find a nice restaurant. Maybe I'll make friends! (Maybe I'll be friends with a bouncer.)

Day 4: Departure - And Post-Trip Trauma

Morning (8:00 - 9:00 AM): A final breakfast. Regret eating all the dumplings. Reflect on the past few days, and give my final goodbyes to the city that never sleeps.
Morning (9:00 - 11:00 AM): Head to the airport.
Evening (11:00 AM - onward): Board flight.
Evening (Ongoing): Land. Reflect on the trip. Probably get jet lag. Start plotting how to get back. Maybe become fluent in Russian. Probably not, but a girl can dream, right?

Anecdotes, Imperfections, and Ramblings (Because Real Life is Messy)

The Pirozhki Incident: Okay, so the other day I grabbed a pirozhki from a street vendor. It looked a little… off. But I was hungry, and the price was right. Let’s just say, I spent the rest of the afternoon with a… unique appreciation for Russian sanitation standards.
The Lost Metro Adventure: I attempted to navigate the metro. I got on the wrong train. I couldn't read the Cyrillic signs. I almost cried. But I'm pretty sure that's the only time I ever felt what it was like to be Russian.
The Vodka Diaries: Let's be honest, the vodka will probably be the star of the show. Expect blurry memories, questionable decisions (like trying to sing Russian folk songs), and a whole lot of laughter.
Emotional Reactions: Expect highs, lows, and a whole lot of "wow" moments. I'm a sucker for beautiful things, and I'm prepared to bawl my eyes out at any given moment.

So, there you have it. My Saint Petersburg adventure. It's not going to be perfect. It's probably going to be chaotic. But it's going to be mine. And I'm ready to embrace the mess. Wish me luck! (You'll need it.)

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Uncover the Secrets of Onyx in St. Petersburg: A Hidden Gem Revealed! - Uh...Maybe? FAQ

Alright, alright, alright. So you're curious about this Onyx place in St. Petersburg? Okay, fine. Let's dive into this whole "hidden gem" thing, shall we? Prepare for a rollercoaster, because I'm not sugarcoating *anything*.

1. What is Onyx? Like, actually?

Okay, this one's actually important. Onyx is... Well, it *claims* to be a speakeasy. Think dim lighting, secretive door, whispered passwords, the whole shebang. In reality, it *kind of* is. But the "speakeasy" aesthetic can feel a little... forced, sometimes. It's like they *really* want you to know it's a speakeasy.

I went in thinking I'd be transported back to the roaring twenties. What I got was...well, let's just say the password wasn't exactly "rhubarb" like I’d read in some online review. It was more along the lines of "the name of the first fictional character I ever saw." Fine, I guess. But then, *the line*. Seriously, the line was longer than the one to the women's room at my ex-girlfriend's bachelorette party. I was already getting the stink-eye from my date, who HATES waiting.

2. Is it actually hidden? Good lord, is it?

Hidden...ish? Look, Google Maps knows where it is. Yelp knows where it is. Your grandma probably knows where it is if she's got that friend who "knows all the cool spots". So, no, it's not like finding Atlantis. However, the entrance is a little...understated. You might walk past it twice. I did. Actually, I might have walked past it *three* times. I was busy yammering on the phone, okay?

The first time, I swore the door was just a cleverly disguised storage closet for the building's janitor. The second time, I thought, "Okay, maybe I'm in the wrong place, maybe this is some random business." The *third* time, I was *starting* to feel like a moron. My date? She was not amused. (She also *hates* getting lost.) Finally, I saw a tiny, almost imperceptible sign, "Onyx" – in a minimalist font, of course. It felt less "secret" and more like a dare.

3. What's the vibe like? Because all I want is a good evening!

The vibe... is a mixed bag. It's dark. Like, really dark. You know, the kind of lighting where you're constantly squinting at the menu, judging the other patrons based on their shadows, and tripping over the velvet ropes (yes, there are velvet ropes – shocker!).

It *tries* for classy, maybe a little too hard. Think jazz music (which, hey, I'm a fan!), vintage cocktails (which, again, sounds great!), and people dressed... well, some dressed like they're going to a wedding, others like they're going to a regular bar. I wear jeans. ALWAYS jeans. And a t-shirt. And a slightly smug expression that says, "I'm here, I'm seeing and I'm not judging you, even if you're wearing a waistcoat." (Okay, maybe the judgment escaped a little)

But it's crowded. Super crowded. Like, you're-elbow-to-elbow with strangers crowded. You're gonna sweat. You're likely to have someone bump into you with an oversized purse. You'll probably spend a good portion of your evening trying to flag down a bartender. The air, it felt kinda thick. I got a little claustrophobic.

4. Are the drinks any good? ARE THEY WORTH THE FRICKIN' WAIT?

Okay, *finally* a good question! The drinks… are actually pretty damn good. I'm not gonna lie. They're creative, well-crafted, and… well, strong. REALLY strong. They clearly take their mixology seriously. My date loved them. LOVED them. She ordered one with edible glitter. Edible glitter! What's not to love?

I had a Sazerac. Perfectly balanced. Bitters and all. Worth the wait in the end? Maybe. I'm still processing. The price, however? Let's just say they're not giving these things away. Be prepared. Like, bank account prepped.

BUT... and this is a big but – the bar itself? It’s SMALL. So getting a drink is an Olympic sport. I’m not kidding. I saw a guy *literally* shove his way to the front. And the bartender? Fantastic, but seriously overworked and understaffed. You might be waiting a while. And while you wait you realize there's no place to actually *sit*, unless of course, you're at the *very* front of the bar. So, standing it is.

5. Is the food any good? Is there even food? Because I need a snack.

Food… hmm. They *do* have food. Limited options. Like, super-limited. Small plates. Fancy snacks. Expect to pay a premium. I had, I *think* it was, some sort of… something. I don't even remember. It was overshadowed by the cocktail fueled chaos of waiting for a drink, the intense dimness, and mostly my growing, internal irritation at the other patrons. Because let’s face it, these trendy, speakeasy types can get to you real quick. Also it was kinda dark. So, yeah… food. It's there. Probably good. But not the main event.

6. Would you recommend it? Honestly. Just tell me.

Ugh, this is the million-dollar question, isn't it? It's complicated. It really, really is. On the one hand, the drinks are fantastic. The atmosphere, on the other hand? Can be hit or miss. The waittimes are a killer. The people are… well, people. Look, if you're a cocktail aficionado, and you have patience of a saint, and you don't *mind* a little chaos, then yeah, maybe give it a shot.

But here’s where my personal rant comes in. **The worst part?** The pretense. The whole "we're so exclusive" vibe. It just reeks of trying too hard. It's like, chill out, Onyx. You're a bar. A *good* bar, granted. But still, a bar.

If you *really* want to impress a date, maybe consider a nice restaurant. Somewhere you can sitPretoria's Hidden Gem: Amper Bo Guest House - Unforgettable Stay!