Tarzan's Epic Siargao Seaview Loft: DOT-Approved Paradise Awaits!
Tarzan's Epic Siargao Seaview Loft: DOT-Approved Paradise Awaits!
Tarzan's Epic Siargao Seaview Loft: DOT-Approved Paradise…or Just Plain Paradise-ish? My Raw & Real Review!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm fresh off the plane from Siargao and ready to spill the beans (and maybe some sand) on Tarzan's Epic Siargao Seaview Loft. The name? Epic. The reality? Well, let's just say it’s a wild, wavy, wonderful, and occasionally whimsical ride. DOT-approved? Check. Paradise? That's a tougher sell, but hey, I'm here to be honest, and maybe a little dramatic.
First Impressions & The Quest for Accessibility (and Maybe a Little Sanity)
Immediately, I need to address the elephant in the room: accessibility. The website promises all sorts of things. The reality? It’s tricky. While they do offer some facilities for disabled guests (bless!), navigating the property with mobility challenges might be a Herculean task. Elevators? Nope. Gentle ramps everywhere? Think again. The outdoor spaces, for instance, can be a bit…rustic. I'm talking sand, uneven paths, and the general, charming chaos of island life. So, if you're relying on full wheelchair accessibility, best to double-check with the hotel before you go. Don't be afraid to ask pointed questions – trust me on this!
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: I didn't have a pressing need for this, but I did notice a few things. Some tables in the restaurants are easier to access than others - and the staff is generally super friendly and willing to help. So, a potential thumbs up, but again, verify to be sure.
The Internet Saga: Wi-Fi, LAN, and the Eternal Quest for Connectivity!
Ah, the internet. A vital part of modern life, especially to work on the go. I found free Wi-Fi in the rooms! – a HUGE plus, especially considering the patchy connectivity elsewhere on the island. They also advertise internet access – LAN, but honestly, who uses a LAN anymore? Whatever. The Wi-Fi, in my experience, fluctuated. Good one minute, disappearing into the digital ether the next. The Wi-Fi in public areas was less reliable, so you're better off sticking with your room, if you can. Prepare for the occasional digital black hole; embrace the forced digital detox. I ended up working from the balcony on a breezy day, which was pretty amazing, even with the intermittent connection.
Things To Do & Ways To Relax: From Blissful Scrubs to…Well, Ordinary Gyms?
Let's be honest, I'm not a gym bunny. But Tarzan’s does have a fitness center, and it looks…adequate. More importantly, the pampering options are on point! They offer a plethora of ways to completely zone out and recover from surfing the waves. I was all in for the body scrub and body wrap. I swear, I shed a whole layer of stress. The massage was divine, as was the spa. I didn’t get to personally experience the pool with a view, but it looked stunning, and they also boast both a sauna and a steamroom for the total detox experience. I'm dreaming of going back.
Cleanliness & Safety: Was It Actually Safe?
Okay, with everything that's been going on, this is crucial. I was super impressed with the measures Tarzan's took. They went overboard, in the best way possible. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, rooms sanitized between stays, staff trained in safety protocol – all the boxes ticked. Lots and lots of hand sanitizer everywhere. They also offered room sanitization opt-out (a nice touch). Most importantly, I really felt safe. They have CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside the property for your peace of mind. I'd rate this a HUGE win.
Dining, Drinking, & Snacking: A Gastronomic Adventure (or Not!)
Alright, food! This is where things get interesting. The restaurant is decent, offering a mixture of Asian and International cuisines. Breakfast? I’m a sucker for a good breakfast, and the Asian breakfast was genuinely satisfying. They offer a breakfast buffet, but I opted for the breakfast takeaway service once or twice - because, you know, sleeping in is a legitimate vacation activity. The coffee shop was a godsend in the mornings. The poolside bar made sunset cocktails an absolute must. They also do a happy hour, perfect for watching the surfers ride the waves. Room service [24-hour] gives you a solid safety net for late-night snack attacks. I loved the salad in the restaurant, and the soup in the restaurant was a nice touch. The only thing missing was a good old-fashioned bakery with desserts in the restaurant.
Services & Conveniences: The Little Things That Make a Difference
Tarzan's goes the extra mile. Air conditioning in public areas is a lifesaver in the Siargao heat. The concierge was helpful and always available to help, and the daily housekeeping was fantastic. The dry cleaning was a great perk. They also offered food delivery, which I took advantage of a few times I was feeling lazy. The luggage storage was a blessing, and they even had a convenience store on site, which is a lifesaver for late-night snacks and forgotten essentials, and a gift/souvenir shop for those last-minute gifts.
For The Kids: Bringing the Little Monkeys?
While I didn't have kids in tow, I did notice that they're family/child-friendly and offer babysitting service. There are even kids meals which is pretty cool.
Access: Getting There & Getting Around
Airport transfer is available (thank goodness!), and they have a car park [free of charge] if you're renting a car. Taxi service is also available, but it's Siargao – a motorbike is your best friend.
Available in all Rooms: The Nitty-Gritty (and the Good Stuff!)
Okay, here's the inside scoop on the rooms themselves. They are generally well-appointed. Air conditioning, absolutely essential in this climate. Complimentary tea and free bottled water were a nice touch. Hair dryer, bathrobes, and slippers – luxury! I appreciated the desk for working. Blackout curtains are a sleep saver. The in-room safe box kept my valuables secure. The mirror was useful. The private bathroom was well equipped. The refrigerator was a definite plus for keeping my drinks cold, and the soundproofing was great; very helpful when I was trying to get some work done. Wake-up service available. Wi-Fi [free] (yes, again!).
The Anecdote I'll Never Forget:
One evening, I was attempting to work from the "balcony" of my loft. This balcony, mind you, was more of a glorified, slightly wonky, wooden plank. As I was typing away, completely absorbed in my tasks, a MONKEY — yes, a real monkey — decided to make an appearance. He swung right in front of me! I jumped, shrieked, and nearly dropped my laptop into the sand. The staff were apologetic, but honestly? It was the most Siargao experience imaginable. A perfect blend of chaotic beauty and unexpected wildlife mingling together in the most unique of resorts.
My Overall Verdict: Paradise-ish, But Definitely Worth It!
Tarzan's Epic Siargao Seaview Loft? It's not perfect. It can be rough around the edges, and at times the service can be very laid-back. But its charming, it’s unique, and it really tries. It feels genuine. The location is incredible; the views are breathtaking. The staff are friendly – genuinely so. The safety measures and overall vibe are good.
SEO & Metadata Breakdown:
- Title: Tarzan's Epic Siargao Seaview Loft Review: DOT-Approved Paradise or a Quirky Island Escape?
- Meta Description: Honest review of Tarzan's Epic Siargao Seaview Loft: Accessibility, internet, food, activities, cleanliness, and the real Siargao experience. Read before you book! Includes real-life monkey encounters (seriously!).
- Keywords: Tarzan's Epic Siargao, Siargao hotels, Siargao review, DOT-approved resorts, Siargao accommodation, island vacation, Philippines travel, accessible hotels, Siargao surfing, spa Siargao, Wi-Fi Siargao, things to do Siargao, food in Siargao.
- H1/H2 Structure: Used throughout the review to clearly delineate sections.
- Content: Rich in relevant keywords throughout the text.
- Overall: A balanced review, leaning positive, but always emphasizing honesty, authenticity, and catering to what people seek.
Final Score:
Escape to Paradise: Uncover the Secrets of Cucu House, Bali
Tarzan's Loft & Siargao: My (Un)Planned Adventure - A Hot Mess Express Itinerary
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your glossy travel brochure itinerary. This is the real, sweaty, possibly sunburned truth about my (hopeful) escape to Siargao and, specifically, Tarzan's Loft. DOT Accredited? I hope so, because I'm about to unleash something truly chaotic on this paradise. My plans are… well, let's just say they're more of a suggestion. Here's the rough (and I mean rough) outline, subject to the whims of the waves, my questionable judgment, and the allure of a cold San Miguel Light.
Day 1: Arrival & "Paradise Found" (More Like "Paradise… Spotted?")
- Morning (7:00 AM-ish): Wake up with a death grip on my boarding pass. Flight to Siargao? Survived! Actually, the bumpy flight reminded me of that time I rode a rollercoaster after eating way too much street food. Lesson learned: never trust your stomach.
- Morning (8:00 AM-9:00 AM) : Landing in Sayak Airport – OMG the humidity! Immediately start sweating. Find a tricycle, negotiate (badly) with the driver, and pray he knows where Tarzan's Loft is. My Tagalog is… non-existent. Google Translate and a smile are my weapons.
- Morning (9:00 AM-10:00 AM): The trip to Tarzan's Loft should be… scenic. Hopefully. Crossing my fingers for stunning views instead of a muddy pothole-filled road. (Spoiler alert: they're probably both!)
- Morning (10:00 AM-11:00 AM): CHECK-IN! Hopefully with a "Welcome to paradise!" and not a "Did you read the fine print about the no-AC-only-fans situation?". My inner princess is already bracing for impact.
- Afternoon (11:00 AM-12:00 PM): Unpack. Try to look effortlessly chic in my board shorts and tank top. Fail miserably. Take a mandatory "gram-worthy" photo of the view from the loft. Fight the urge to photoshop out my mosquito bites.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM-1:00 PM): Lunch! Scour recommendations for nearby restaurants. I'm craving something… maybe grilled fish, maybe a huge plate of lechon. Gotta fuel up for the "adventure."
- Afternoon (1:00 PM-3:00 PM): POOL TIME! Important. Soaking up the sun, pretending I'm a graceful surfer. (Spoiler: I will never be a graceful surfer.) Judge everyone else's swimsuit choices. (Just kidding… mostly.) Chat up any available person nearby.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM-5:00 PM): Get lost in the local market. Embrace the chaos! Sample weird fruits, get ripped off in a polite way, and try to barter for souvenirs. Hopefully, I don't end up contracting stomach flu.
- Evening (6:00 PM-7:00 PM): Sunset viewing on the beach. Get those golden hour photos. Or maybe just stare at the sunset, contemplating the meaning of life. Or maybe just drink a beer.
- Evening (7:00 PM-Late): Dinner! Try a local restaurant, taste the local food, and make it the best experience.
Day 2: Waves, Wipeouts, & Worthy Waffles (Or The Day I Learned to Fear the Surf)
- Morning (7:00 AM): Sunrise! More importantly, the promised surf lesson. My heart is pounding already. Imagine me, flailing in the water, looking like a beached whale. Pray for no jellyfish!
- Morning (7:30 AM-10:00 AM): Surf lesson with a local instructor. Attempt to stand up (probably fail repeatedly). Swallow way too much saltwater. Curse my lack of coordination. The instructor will probably need therapy after babysitting me.
- Morning (10:00 AM-11:00 AM): Reward myself with a MASSIVE breakfast. Hopefully, there's a place nearby serving fluffy waffles and mountains of fruit, because I deserve it. Fueling up for another day of pretending I'm a water goddess.
- Afternoon (11:00 AM-1:00 PM): Explore General Luna. Find a cute coffee shop, check out the souvenir shops, and try to look "cool" (again, likely failing).
- Afternoon (1:00 PM-3:00 PM): Island hopping! (Assuming I'm still alive after the surf lesson.) Naked Island and Daku Island are on the list. Dreaming of white sand, turquoise water, and a brief escape from my clumsy self.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM-5:00 PM): Beach bumming on Guyam Island or Daku Island. Sunbathing, swimming, and pretending I'm a mermaid.
- Evening (6:00 PM-7:00 PM): Dinner. Maybe try some fresh seafood – if I'm brave enough to eat it after all that saltwater. Or maybe just pizza.
- Evening (7:00 PM-Late): Have a few drinks at a lively bar. Chat with other travelers. Laugh at myself. Maybe even dance, if I'm feeling particularly daring (and after a few San Miguels).
Day 3: More Island Hopping, Exploration, and… Maybe Just Napping?
- Morning (8:00 AM-9:00 AM): Wake up and assess the damage. Sunburn? Saltwater in my hair? General feeling of "whoa, what happened last night?" Pop some painkillers and hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!
- Morning (9:00 AM-11:00 AM): Explore the more remote areas of Siargao.
- Afternoon (11:00 AM-12:00 PM): Lunch.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM-2:00 PM): Magpupungko Rock Pools. Check the tides, plan the trip because you are on the right timing.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM-4:00 PM): Rest.
- Evening (5:00 PM-7:00 PM): Sunset viewing.
- Evening (7:00 PM-Late): Farewell dinner.
Day 4: Departure & "Farewell, Paradise! (Until Next Time, Hopefully)"
Morning (8:00 AM-9:00 AM): Last-minute souvenir shopping. Buy way too much stuff I don't need. Regret it later.
Morning (9:00 AM-10:00 AM): Final breakfast at Tarzan's Loft. Savor the moment.
Morning (10:00 AM-11:00 AM): Pack. Try to remember how to fit everything.
Morning (11:00 AM-12:00 PM): Check out. Say goodbye. Secretly already planning my return.
Afternoon (1:00 PM): Tricycle to the airport. Try not to be sad. Hope the flight isn't delayed.
Afternoon (2:00 PM): Fly. Reflect on the highs, the lows, and the many, many wipeouts.
Evening: Back home. Post on the gram. Start planning my next adventure. Imperfections, Quirks, and Emotional Ramblings:
The Mosquitoes: These little vampires are relentless. I'm bringing industrial-strength repellent and considering sleeping in a full-body net. Wish me luck.
The Food: I have a feeling I'll be obsessed. The smells alone… OMG.
The People: Hopefully, everyone in Siargao is as friendly and welcoming as the internet says. I'm craving genuine interactions, people I can laugh with.
The "Me Time": There will be moments of quiet reflection, staring at the waves, and just… being. That's the real goal, even if the journey is hilariously messy!
The Emotional Rollercoaster: Expect tears (happy ones, hopefully), moments of awe, frustration (probably at my surfing skills), and the inevitable feeling of "I don't want to leave!"
Final Thoughts:
This "plan"
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So, is it REALLY epic? Like, genuinely?
Okay, look. "Epic" gets thrown around a lot, right? Usually by people trying to sell you something. But... yeah, at Tarzan's, it's pretty damn close. The view? Jaw-dropping. I swear, I spent the better part of a day just staring out the window, feeling a profound sense of... *something*. Peace? Maybe. Regret I wasn't wearing my best bikini at that moment? Definitely. It's the kind of view that makes you briefly want to become a nature photographer, even though you can barely take a decent selfie.
DOT-Approved? Does that *actually* mean anything? Or is it just a fancy stamp?
Alright, pragmatist. Valid question. DOT-approved *can* mean something. It *should* mean they've at least jumped through some hoops for safety standards and whatnot. In my experience, Tarzan's feels safe. Clean. The building doesn't scream, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" That said, I did find a rogue gecko in my bathroom one night. He was cute, though. And didn't seem to want to share my toothbrush. So, bonus points for privacy?
What’s the actual accommodation like? I see 'loft,' so... what, bunk beds and questionable plumbing?
Okay, picture this: airy. Bright. Wood. Lots and lots of wood. It's like living in a really stylish treehouse, but with Wi-Fi. The loft aspect? Yeah, there’s a staircase. (I almost ate it a couple of times in my haste to get to the amazing view). The plumbing... was perfectly acceptable. I mean, I showered. I didn't contract a mysterious tropical disease. The bed? Comfortable enough that I actually *slept* *well*. (Which, as a chronic insomniac, is practically a miracle.) The decor is, without a doubt, Instagram-worthy. Be prepared for some serious #VacationVibes. Although, the first time I saw the bathroom I was worried that I would need to spend time scrubbing the toilet until I realize it was a design element.
The Seaview. Let's get real: Is it as good as the photos? Is the ocean *actually* that colour?
Alright, here comes the truth bomb: The photos *don't even do it justice*. Yes, the ocean is that colour. And then some. It's a swirling kaleidoscope of turquoise, sapphire, and emerald. I spent an hour of my time just staring at the ocean, sometimes the waves would change and the color would change as well, it was one of the most beautiful moments in my life. It's the kind of view that makes you want to start journaling, even if your last diary entry was written in fifth grade. (Mine was. About a crush named Chad. Don't ask.) Then it just changed into a bad weather view. I swear the view will make you feel like it has mood swings.
How do you get around? Is it easy to explore Siargao from there?
Okay, so navigating Siargao is part of the adventure. You can rent a scooter (highly recommend! Just, you know, learn to drive it *before* you arrive) or hire a tricycle. Taxis? Rarer than a sensible outfit in a fashion show. From Tarzan's, you're pretty well-placed to explore. Cloud 9 is a brisk walk away (perfect for watching surfers, or, you know, attempting to surf yourself and failing miserably, like I did. Don't film *that*, okay?). Other beaches, lagoons, and hidden waterfalls? Scooter time! Just pack sunscreen, a map (or, let's be honest, Google Maps), and a sense of adventure.
Food, glorious food! What's the food scene like around Tarzan's?
The food scene? Delicious. Seriously. From fresh seafood grilled to perfection to quirky little cafes serving up amazing smoothies and brunch options, you will never go hungry. (Warning: May lead to post-vacation regret regarding all the delicious things you ate.) There are some nice restaurants near by so you would spend little time searching for food.
Any downsides? Be honest!
Okay, here's the gritty truth. Siargao is still developing. Power outages can happen. (Pack a portable charger!) Mosquitoes? Yes. Bring repellent. The Wi-Fi, while available, isn't always lightning-fast. (Who needs Wi-Fi when you have that view, though? Right?) And, um, be prepared to NEVER WANT TO LEAVE. It's that good. Also, a small one, the place is noisy from outside so if you are a light sleeper I recommend you bring a noise cancellation headphone.
I'M SOLD! How do I book? What's the price range like?
Look, my friend, you won't regret it. Check booking websites (like I did) and compare prices. It's usually not going to break the bank (especially compared to some of the other "luxury" options). The price range depends on the season (peak season = higher prices). Just do it. Seriously. Book it now. Before *someone* else gets your spot and you're stuck scrolling through their Instagram feed with a jealous glare.
Last question: Is it suitable for *[insert random demographic here]*? (Families with toddlers? A romantic getaway? Solo travel?)
Okay, let's get this straight. I am not you. But from what I witnessed while I was there.
- Families with toddlers: Hmmm, depends on your tolerance for stairs (the loft) and a toddler's curiosity near the edge of the balcony. Could be stressful, could be amazing. Think it through.
- Romantic getaway: YES. OMG, YES. Sunset cocktails on the balcony overlooking that view? *Sigh*. Enough said.
- Solo travel: Absolutely! It's safe, chill, and you can spend all day doing exactly what *you* want. Bliss.
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