Tenerife's Royal Sunset Beach Club: Paradise Found (or Lost...)?
Tenerife's Royal Sunset Beach Club: Paradise Found (or Lost...)?
Royal Sunset Beach Club, Tenerife: My Blurry-Eyed, Sunburnt Reckoning (Paradise Found… Maybe?)
Alright, here's the deal. I'm back from Tenerife, back from the Royal Sunset Beach Club, and still wrestling with whether I had a vacation or a slightly over-glorified nap. Let's break it down, folks. Because honestly, remembering it all is proving harder than peeling a sun-baked tomato.
SEO & Metadata (Because Apparently the Algorithms Demand This):
- Keywords: Royal Sunset Beach Club, Tenerife, Review, Accessibility, Family-Friendly, Spa, Swimming Pool, Restaurants, Wi-Fi, Things to Do, Luxury Resort, Spain, Canary Islands.
- Meta Description: An honest, sometimes rambling review of the Royal Sunset Beach Club in Tenerife. Dive deep into accessibility, food, facilities, and whether it truly lives up to the hype. Includes personal anecdotes, opinions, and the lingering question: was it paradise?
- Category: Travel, Hotels, Resorts, Spain, Tenerife
First Impressions & The Arrival - Or, "Where's My Margarita?"
Okay, so arriving. The airport transfer was smooth enough – blessedly air-conditioned after the Tenerife sun had been baking everything. The car park [on-site] was a massive plus (and car park [free of charge] if you're lucky). The doorman was… well, he was there. I'm not sure I interacted with him, but he was present. The concierge was, thankfully, more helpful. The whole process, from landing to check-in, was contactless which was nice as it feels a little 'cleaner' these days, but I swear it makes me feel even more disconnected from humanity. I had to go to the front desk [24-hour] to get my key, I was able to check-in/out [express] which helped.
My first thought? "Dude, I need a drink, and fast." Finding the poolside bar wasn't hard. Finding a good margarita? That took a little longer. The terrace was gorgeous, though. Sun-drenched bliss.
The Room - My Little Fortress of Cool
My room? Honestly, pretty good. The air conditioning was a lifesaver. The blackout curtains were crucial for a good afternoon nap (essential). And hey, the complimentary tea was a nice touch. I appreciated the socket near the bed – a small thing, but vital for charging all my devices.
The internet (Wi-Fi [free])… well, it worked. It wasn't lightning-fast, but hey, I got my Instagram fix. The satellite/cable channels were standard fare. The desk wasn't particularly inspiring, but it was there if I needed to pretend I was working. The bathroom was a nice size, with bathrobes and slippers (a proper luxury). The safe was great to be able to store my passport. My room had a window that opens, so I could enjoy both the sun and the air.
Accessibility - A Mixed Bag, Sadly
This is where things get a bit…murkier. While there are advertised facilities for disabled guests, I'm not sure I saw a ton of evidence. The elevator was there, which is great. But navigating some of the common areas in a wheelchair could be a challenge. (I'm not in a wheelchair, but I always try to be aware of these things). I'd advise contacting the hotel before booking if you have specific accessibility needs to confirm. They do have facilities for disabled guests.
Food and Drink - A Culinary Rollercoaster
Okay, buckle up. The breakfast [buffet] was… extensive. Asian breakfast, Western breakfast - you name it, they probably had it. The coffee shop was a lifesaver for that mid-morning caffeine hit. The restaurants offered a range of cuisines, from the international cuisine in restaurant and western cuisine in restaurant to the Asian cuisine in restaurant. However, the quality was… inconsistent. One night, the salad in restaurant was divine; the next, it was limp and sad. The room service [24-hour] was super convenient though. Oh, and the bottle of water in the room was a godsend (and free bottled water).
The Spa & Relaxation - Where Dreams (Almost) Come True
Now this is where the Royal Sunset Beach Club almost redeemed itself. The spa area was beautiful. I indulged in a body scrub and a massage – pure bliss. Being able to use the sauna, steamroom, foot bath, and spa/sauna was lovely too. The pool with view was stunning. The swimming pool [outdoor] was HUGE.
The Real, RAW Experience
I had one particularly amazing afternoon with the sauna. I have never done a sauna before, I wasn't sure what it was meant to feel like, I thought I was going to hate it, and I loved every second. The sauna was great, I felt like I was just, completely at peace. I was in and out of the steamroom, and it just relaxed me.
Things to do - Beyond the Sunlounger
Honestly? I spent most of my time on a sunlounger. But if you're feeling more energetic, they have a fitness center, gym/fitness or meeting/banquet facilities and a convenience store for bits and bobs.
The 'Things To Avoid' List
- The Inconsistent Food: Again, the food was a mixed bag. Try to find alternative meal arrangement for the times you're not excited!
- The Bureaucracy: The invoice provided was a little unclear.
- The Over-Organization: I felt a bit like a cog in a machine.
The Verdict - Finding Paradise?
So, was it paradise? Hmm… not quite. My feelings are mixed. The cleanliness and safety were top-notch, with anti-viral cleaning products, hand sanitizer everywhere, daily disinfection in common areas, and staff trained in safety protocol. This was definitely reassuring. The staff were super friendly. The Royal Sunset Beach Club is beautiful, it is safe, and it is in an amazing location. However, it wasn't the most personalized or authentic experience.
However, if you're looking for a relaxing beach break with a good spa, a decent room, and willing to accept some culinary ups and downs, you could do far worse. I'd give it 3.75 stars out of 5. Maybe, just maybe, next time I'll finally find that perfect margarita. Or at least remember where I put my sunscreen.
Escape to Paradise: Arran Motel's Te Anau Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to wade through the glorious, sun-drenched chaos that was my week at the Royal Sunset Beach Club in Tenerife. This isn't your typical itinerary. This is… well, this is what actually happened.
Royal Sunset Beach Club: My Tenerife Tango (A Totally Unreliable Guide)
Day 1: Arrival and… Immediate Panic
- Time: 7:00 AM (ish). Wake up, already regretting booking an early flight. Airports are fundamentally evil.
- Event: Flight from… well, let's just say it was a long-ass flight. Felt like I aged five years.
- Impression: Tenerife looks smaller from the air. My brain is currently filled with cotton wool and existential dread.
- Travel: Landed, collected my suitcase (miraculously intact, unlike my sanity), and managed to find the transfer bus. The driver looked like he'd seen some things. I felt like I hadn't seen enough things, because everything felt brand new and confusing.
- Check-in: Royal Sunset! The lobby is… big. And smells faintly of chlorine and… something floral that's trying too hard. The receptionist (bless her, she looked like she'd been stuck there since the dawn of tourism) was lovely, despite my jet-lagged attempts at speaking Spanish that probably sounded like I was gargling gravel. Got the keys to our apartment. I’d booked a balcony because I'm a fool for a view. I need a view.
- Room Reaction: Oh. My. God. The view. The actual view. The balcony overlooked the pool and the ocean. The sea was that electric turquoise you only see in travel brochures. Seriously, I gasped. Out loud. Embarrassing, but I don't care. I'm here. I made it. I'm victorious, so far.
- Late Afternoon: Poolside. Found a sun lounger (miracle number two!) and promptly passed out for two glorious hours. Woke up with a slightly crispy nose and the unsettling feeling that I had been abandoned on a deserted island made of towels.
- Dinner: The on-site restaurant. Had the paella. It was… decent. Okay, it was a bit bland, but the sangria was potent enough to make me forget, especially with the sunset. Watching my waiter struggling in English was an experience, though. (He dropped a plate, but the music covered it. Smooth, my friend.)
- Evening: Stumbled back to the room. Immediately fell into a deep, blissful sleep. This is the life.
Day 2: The Labyrinth of Bliss (and a Minor Meltdown)
- Morning: Woke up feeling… vaguely hungover. Must have been the sangria. Breakfast buffet. My eyes were bigger than my stomach, as usual. The coffee was… okay. The bacon was crispy. All is forgiven. Seriously, bacon is a miracle.
- Activity: Attempted to navigate the complex. The hotel has these walkways crisscrossing, and it's like a maze. I swear I saw the same group of bewildered Germans three times. Almost had a full-blown panic attack trying to find the gym. Found it, eventually. Gave up after five minutes. Too much daylight. Too much… everything.
- Afternoon: Beach time! Headed down to Playa de Fañabé. The sand was black volcanic sand that was warm on my feet and the ocean felt amazing. Spent the afternoon swimming in the waves and pretending I was a mermaid. Then, got stung by something. Still don't know what. Possibly a rogue jellyfish. Cried a little. Okay, a lot. Okay, I sat on the beach and bawled like a baby for about twenty minutes. The salt water probably helped, though.
- Evening: Determined to recover. Found a little tapas bar near the beach. Ate some papas arrugadas (wrinkled potatoes) with mojo sauce (delicious) and drank some more sangria. Felt better. The tiny, quirky, slightly grumpy waiter was everything. He was charming.
- Night: Starglazing. On my balcony, with a large glass of wine. Absolutely magical. I swear I saw a shooting star. Or maybe it was a particularly potent mosquito. Either way, it was beautiful.
Day 3: Teide Trek (and a Near-Death Experience… by Altitude Sickness)
- Morning: Okay, this was the "active" day. Booked a trip to Mount Teide, Spain's highest peak. The trip started fine but the landscape changed, and the higher we went, the more otherworldly everything became.
- Travel: The journey up the mountain was… long. The bus driver took the turns like a race car driver. I felt a sudden rush of nausea. I thought I was fine, I'm usually good with heights. I was so wrong.
- The Mountain: We took the cable car up to the peak. The views were incredible. The air was thin. My head began to throb. My stomach started doing the Macarena. Altitude sickness is a bitch. Thought I was gonna puke. In public. On a mountain. Mortifying. Pushed through it and tried to appreciate it.
- Impression: The view was breathtaking, in more ways than one. The landscape was like something out of a sci-fi movie. Rocks, craters, and a vast expanse of… well, just a lot of nothing. It was magnificent and intimidating all at once.
- Emotional reaction: I spent the entire time clinging to my water bottle and praying to the porcelain gods that the nausea would subside. I wanted to love it but the air was affecting me. Made it to the top, barely. The trip down was better.
- Evening: Ordered a pizza. Ate it in bed. Slept for twelve hours. My body was very angry with me.
Day 4: Pool Day Redemption (and the Great Sun Lounger Battle)
- Morning: Determined to make up for the near-death experience. Pool day! Arrived at the pool… and the sun loungers were all taken. Apparently, the Great Sun Lounger Battle is a real thing. People are ruthless.
- Morning (Part 2): Finally managed to snag a lounger near the bar. Victory! Drank cocktails. Read a book. Watched other people attempt to claim sun loungers. It was a spectator sport in itself.
- Afternoon: Did a little bit of swimming. Perfect.
- Evening: Ate at the hotel restaurant again. Became best friends with the staff. They were probably just amused by how often I ordered the same thing. Felt content.
- Night: Sat on my balcony, watching the lights of the other islands across the sea. Reflecting on the day. Another perfect day.
Day 5: Whale Watching (and the Reality of Seasickness)
- Morning: Whale watching trip! Exciting, right? I love whales.
- Travel: Got on a boat. The sea was… choppy. Remember the sea? Well, that turned out not to be my friend.
- The Experience: The staff was nice. We saw dolphins. Awesome. Then, then the boat started rocking. Seriously, I was green within minutes. Seasickness is a whole level up from altitude sickness. I was not the only one. Half the passengers were hanging over the sides.
- Impression: Managed to see a whale in the distance. Looked majestic even through the waves.
- Emotional Reaction: Tears streamed down my face. Not from the majesty of the whales. From the nausea. Also, the smell of diesel. Never again.
- Afternoon: Spent the afternoon horizontal in my room, trying not to die. Failed. Kept dry crackers by the bed.
- Evening: Managed to eat a small bowl of plain rice. Victory.
Day 6: The Last Supper (and Souvenir Shenanigans)
- Morning: Last full day. Sad face. Slowly packed my bags.
- Activity: Explored the local shops (which I hadn’t done yet). Bought a ridiculous souvenir (a ceramic turtle that looks like it's perpetually terrified).
- Afternoon: Final swim. Sunbathed.
- Evening: Went out to a nice restaurant, the one I’d been promising myself all trip. Incredible meal. The flavors of the food, the laughter. I savored every second.
- Night: Packed. Final thoughts on the balcony. Bittersweet.
Day 7: Farewell Tenerife (and the Longing for More)
- Morning: Woke up late. Ate breakfast. Took one last look at that magical view.
- Travel: Headed to the airport. The flight home.
- Impression: Airport food is still awful.
- Emotional Reaction: Sad to be leaving, but also… a little bit relieved. Tenerife was a rollercoaster, a beautiful, messy, sometimes nauseating rollercoaster. I loved it. Would I go back? Absolutely. Next time, I’m bringing a seasickness remedy and an army of sun lounger-saving ninjas.
- End: Back home. Already planning the next trip. Tenerife, you magnificent
Royal Sunset Beach Club, Tenerife: Paradise Found...Or Just a Really, Really Shiny Package? (A Messy FAQ)
So, is the Royal Sunset Beach Club actually *royal*? Like, do they have butlers and diamond-encrusted pool towels?
Right, let's get the regal aspirations out of the way. Royal? Honey, no. Think more… *aspirational*. You won't find anyone throwing you a gold-plated goblet of sangria. But! The name does evoke a certain… promise. And to be fair, the *views* from the balconies? Absolutely majestic. I spent a good hour just gawking at the ocean, muttering about how I was clearly meant to be a queen. (My royal duties apparently involve finishing a bottle of wine and critiquing the sunset.) The tiles in the lobby are pretty fancy though, I'll give them that.
What's the deal with the apartments? Are they actually nice, or just the usual 'holiday let chic'?
Okay, the apartments. Here's the truth, warts and all: they vary. DRAMATICALLY. I stayed in a one-bedroom that felt like a showroom – minimalist, modern, utterly fabulous. Then I visited a friend’s place… let’s just say it had a distinct 80s vibe going on. Beige carpet, the kind of floral curtains that scream "Grandma's sunroom," and questionable artwork. Pack your own air freshener, just in case. Ask for photos before you book!
The pool. Everyone raves about the pool. Is it as good as it looks in the photos? And is it crowded?
The pool… oh, the pool! Yes, it’s glorious. Infinity edge, crystal-clear water, a swim-up bar that practically beckons you with promises of frozen cocktails. *But*. Crowded? Like, sardine-in-a-can crowded, especially during peak season. I swear, one day I saw a woman doing water aerobics with about fifty other people, all bumping into each other like a synchronized swimming apocalypse. Get your sunbed EARLY. And by early, I mean before the sun even peeks over the horizon. I'm talking ridiculous o'clock! Then there's the music. It's *loud*. Really, really loud. And frankly, I've heard the playlist at my local gym is more varied. Expect a lot of generic pop. But hey, at least it drowns out the inevitable complaints about the sunbeds being 'reserved' (even though no one's on them for hours).
Let's talk food. Is the on-site restaurant any good? Any insider tips?
The restaurant… hmmm. Okay, it’s convenient. Let's start there. You’ve got a captive audience, right? So, the food is… generally edible. Nothing mind-blowing, nothing tragically awful. Think classic holiday fare: burgers, pizzas, pasta, the usual suspects. The breakfast buffet is decent, if you're a fan of mountains of scrambled eggs. My insider tip? Head out. Seriously. The area's got some fantastic little restaurants that are a million times better (and cheaper!). Especially the tapas places in Los Cristianos – so much better. I remember one place, I can't recall the name, near the harbor... the seafood paella... ugh, heaven! Just walking into the area, and the smells of garlic and fish... mmm!
The location... is it a good base for exploring Tenerife, or are you stuck in a tourist bubble?
Location, location, location, right? The Royal Sunset puts you right in the thick of it. It's perfect if you want the beach on your doorstep, and you're happy with the usual touristy stuff. Plenty of shops, bars, and restaurants within walking distance. Public transport is easy enough to get around. You can catch a bus to Mount Teide or explore the north of the island. If you want to soak up the authentic Tenerife vibe, you might have to venture a bit. You're not exactly stumbling upon a secret local hangout, you know? But hey, the beach is there. And the sunsets? Unbeatable.
I need to unwind. Is the spa any good? What's the vibe like?
The spa... ah, the spa. Okay, here's where my experience veers wildly from chill tranquility to a comedy of errors. I was SO looking forward to a massage. Booked it, all set, feeling zen. Then, the appointment. The therapist? Lovely, but she spoke about three words of English. I was left making a series of increasingly desperate mime gestures to communicate my preferred pressure level. One of those "overly enthusiastic" massages, ended up feeling like I was being tenderized. I was giggling the entire time. The atmosphere? Well... I guess they try. It's dark, it's quiet, it smells vaguely of lavender. But let's be real, you're still just a few steps away from the screaming kids in the pool. My advice: Manage your expectations. (and maybe learn a few basic Spanish massage-related phrases beforehand!)
Is there anything that really, really annoyed you about the Royal Sunset Beach Club?
YES. The relentless, soul-crushing, *time-share hawkers*. Seriously, they lurk like vultures. They're everywhere. By the pool, in the lobby, practically hiding in the bathroom mirrors. They're charming at first, offering you a free breakfast or a "special tour." Resist. Resist the temptation! Because once you're in their clutches, escape is difficult. You'll spend hours being subjected to a hard sell, listening to promises of a "dream holiday lifestyle" that's probably just a thinly veiled way to extract a load of cash. Learn from my mistakes. Just say no. Politely, firmly, and repeatedly.
Okay, final verdict. Paradise Found? Paradise Lost? Somewhere in between?
Alright, here's the brutally honest truth: The Royal Sunset Beach Club is *fine*. It's not paradise. It's not some awful hellhole. It's a solid, mostly enjoyable holiday spot. If you want sun, sea, and a convenient location, it ticks the boxes. Just be prepared for the crowds, the time-share sharks, and the occasional wonky massage. And bring your own air freshener. And maybe a phrasebook. And a strong sense of humor. Because frankly, you're going to need it. Would I go back? Probably. I mean, the sunsets are pretty awesome. And I *did* say I was meant to be a queen. Maybe I can just convince the pool staff to bring me sangria. Wish me luck...
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