Escape to Paradise: Ascott Riverside Garden Beijing Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Ascott Riverside Garden Beijing Awaits!
Escape to Paradise… Or Did I Just Survive Ascott Riverside Garden Beijing? (A Messy, Honest Review)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I just wrestled with the concept of “Escape to Paradise” thanks to Ascott Riverside Garden Beijing, and let me tell you, it was… an experience. Don't get me wrong, there were moments of pure bliss, those shimmering, Instagram-worthy pockets of perfection. But then there were the moments where I questioned my life choices (and the sanity of the person who booked this for me). Let's dive in, shall we?
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- Meta Description: A candid and detailed review of Ascott Riverside Garden Beijing. Find out if it truly lives up to the "Escape to Paradise" promise, from accessibility and dining to spa treatments and family-friendly amenities. We'll cover everything, the good, the bad, and the slightly smelly.
The Grand Entrance & First Impressions (or, the Elevator Saga)
First off, the access. I'm seeing a lot of hotels touting accessibility these days, and Ascott, thankfully, isn’t just paying lip service. Wheelchair accessible? Yes, mostly. Elevators were (thankfully!) plentiful and big enough for me and my clumsy luggage. Ramps were available where needed, which is a HUGE win. But finding the accessible entrance at first? Let’s just say it required a little… adventure. I wound up wandering around for a good ten minutes before I stumbled upon it. Okay, fine, I was the one stumbling, but still. The signage could have been better!
The doorman, though, was a true champ. Seriously, a smile and a helping hand with a mountain of bags? Gold star! And speaking of gold… the lobby? Yeah, it's opulent. Think soaring ceilings, shiny surfaces, and enough polished marble to make a Roman emperor jealous. The front desk [24-hour], was efficient, but felt a little… buttoned-up. Not exactly the warm, fuzzy welcome I crave after a long flight. The check-in/out [express] option was a life-saver, since I was running on fumes.
Rooms: Sanctuary or Cellblock? (Plus That Window That Wouldn't Open!)
Alright, let's talk rooms. The non-smoking rooms are a given, thank you very much. I had a high floor room, which was lovely for the view, even though it was a little scary. My room had all the things: air conditioning, complimentary tea, a desk to attempt some work, a minibar for (mostly) overpriced snacks, and the all-important Wi-Fi [free].
The bed? Heavenly. Seriously. The extra long bed was a godsend. And the bathrobes and slippers? I lived in them. Now, the window that opens was a big miss. I like fresh air. I like to peek out and see Beijing. This window was firmly sealed shut. Sadness.
Then there's the bathroom. The private bathroom was spacious enough, with a separate shower/bathtub. And the supplied toiletries were decent (not the cheap stuff, thank goodness). Now, here’s a confession: I’m a sucker for a good hotel bathroom. And this was pretty good, though, not great (I'm a bit of a lush, and like bath bombs, and the like.).
Where the Food Meets the Mood (or, the Buffet Brawl)
Okay, let's talk food. The breakfast [buffet] was…massive. Seriously. I'm talking a culinary landscape of international destruction. Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant -- you name it, they probably had it.
But, and this is a big “but,” the sheer volume was overwhelming. Finding a quiet corner was like searching for the Holy Grail. I ended up in a place where I was eating, and I could hear a toddler screaming in Mandarin. I'm not saying the food was bad, mind you. The omelets were pretty darned good. But sometimes, you just want a peaceful start to your day, not a battlefield of breakfast.
The restaurants themselves were hit or miss. I had a phenomenal dinner at the international cuisine restaurant, a salad in restaurant that was shockingly good, and a perfectly acceptable cup of coffee/tea in restaurant. The poolside bar was a great spot for a pre-dinner cocktail (happy hour was a nice touch!). The snack bar? Well, let's just say it was convenient for a quick bite.
Spa Day Dreams (and a Bit of Reality)
Now, this is where Ascott really shines. The Spa…oh, the Spa. It's an oasis of calm. They've got the pool with view, something about gazing out at the landscape while someone scrubs you down is just… bliss. I indulged in a body scrub and a massage. My therapist, bless her soul, managed to knead out all the tension I'd accumulated from… well, everything. They have a sauna, steamroom also. I loved the foot bath, so lovely.
Things to Do (Besides Existential Contemplation)
Beyond the spa, there's a fitness center (thank God. I needed it after the buffet.) Also, a gym/fitness for the hardcore. Other than the spa, it was an indoor swimming pool [outdoor] with a lovely view. I’d love to spend time there but I was busy.
Cleanliness & Safety: Did I Survive?
In these post-pandemic times, safety is paramount. Ascott gets a thumbs up on this front. Daily disinfection in common areas, professional-grade sanitizing services, hand sanitizer everywhere. They even had room sanitization opt-out available if you wanted to skip the whole cleaning circus. I appreciated the focus on hygiene certification, and the staff seemed well-drilled in staff trained in safety protocol. They also had anti-viral cleaning products.
For the Kidlets (and the Babysitters)
If you're traveling with kids, Ascott seems to be a decent choice. Family/child friendly is the name of the game. Kids meal are a plus and they offer a babysitting service.
The Bottom Line: Paradise Found?
So, was it a complete escape to paradise? Parts of it, definitely. The spa, the bed, the helpful staff – those were pure gold. But there were bumps along the road: the noisy breakfast, that unopenable window, and the occasional feeling of being slightly lost in the vastness of it all.
Would I recommend it? Yes, with caveats. If you're looking for a luxurious, well-equipped hotel with a fantastic spa and plenty of amenities, Ascott Riverside Garden Beijing is worth a look. Just be prepared for a few potentially messy moments along the way. And for heaven's sake, pack some earplugs. You might need them.
Final Score: 7.5/10 (Could be an 8 with an openable window!)
Orlando Universal Escape: TownePlace Suites Luxury Awaits!
Alright, buckle up Buttercup, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. This is Beijing, baby, Ascott Riverside Garden style, and we're diving headfirst into delicious chaos.
Arrival & Initial Panic (Day 1)
- 12:00 PM - Arrival at Beijing Capital International Airport (PEK): Okay, the flight was bumpy. Like, really bumpy. I swear I saw the flight attendant's face turn a shade of green I'd never encountered before. I'm already regretting that pre-flight burrito. Customs? A blur of tired faces and incomprehensible Mandarin. Found the baggage carousel eventually. Took me an hour or two to find the right exit. Seriously, the airport is a maze. I'm not saying I'm directionally challenged, but let's just say I'm easily distracted by…everything.
- 1:30 PM - Taxi Scam (Almost): Flagged down a cab, thinking I was showing off my newfound independence. The driver, bless his heart (probably), pulled up with some rickety cab. He seemed really excited, like he'd won the lottery. We haggled. I probably paid too much. I'm sure I paid too much. It was a learning experience (supposedly).
- 3:00 PM - Ascott Riverside Garden Check-In & The Room…Bless Its Heart: Finally arrived at the Ascott. The lobby is swanky, I'll give them that. Check-in was smooth, thank the travel gods. Then I got to the room… It's…well, it's a room. It has a bed. And a view of… the backside of another building. But! It's clean, I'm alive, and the air conditioning is blasting, thank you, Jesus.
- 4:00 PM - First Food Attempt: Lost in Translation (and Dumplings): Wandered aimlessly, starving, in search of sustenance. Found a street food stall. Pointed at something vaguely edible. It was dumplings. Delicious, greasy, glorious dumplings. I devoured them. And then, the language barrier kicked in. I tried to communicate. I really did. It was a hilarious, messy, unintelligible dance of hand gestures, facial expressions, and utterly failing attempts at Mandarin. I think he understood I wanted more…and I obliged.
- 6:00 PM - Naptime (Required): Jet lag hit me like a ton of bricks. Conquered the world one dumpling at a time. After I had had my fill of dumplings, I went back to the room to sleep. I was so sleepy, and I didn't hesitate before I fell asleep.
Wandering & Wondering (Day 2)
- 9:00 AM - Breakfast Blunder: The Case of the Mysterious Egg: The Ascott's breakfast buffet. Ooh la la, pastries. Coffee. The usual. But then…eggs. I asked for scrambled. I got…something. I’m not entirely sure what it was, but it had a vaguely eggy consistency. I ate it anyway. Survival of the fittest, people.
- 10:00 AM - Forbidden…Everything: The Forbidden City. Holy moly. Massive. Overwhelming. Absolutely stunning. Wandered around like a lost puppy dog, snapping pictures and getting completely bewildered by the sheer scale of the thing. I definitely got lost. I also definitely got separated from a group of other tourists. I felt like a little child.
- My Forbidden City Moment: This is where it got interesting. Weaved through courtyards, palaces, and a million other tourists. I got completely lost. Discovered was my favorite part. A random little courtyard, away from the throngs. Quiet. Peaceful. Sun dappling through the trees. I sat on a stone bench, took a deep breath, and just…observed. It was a moment of genuine awe and serenity, totally unexpected. For a minute, the chaos, the jet lag, the language barrier, and even the egg-related disappointments, disappeared.
- 1:00 PM - Lunch: More Dumplings (Naturally): Found a tiny, hole-in-the-wall dumpling joint near the Forbidden City. The best dumplings EVER. The place was heaving with locals, which, in my book, is always a good sign. I pointed, smiled, and ate. It was perfect.
- 3:00 PM - Temple of Heaven: Another Kind of Grandiose: It's round. It's blue. It's gigantic. The Temple of Heaven is another one of those "wow, I'm just a speck" experiences. Found myself wandering around, trying to grasp the history and significance of it all. I mostly just absorbed the atmosphere and enjoyed the walk. And the people-watching. Oh, the people-watching.
- 6:00 PM - Evening Stroll & Stumbling Upon a Snack: Decided to make the most of the fact that the sun wasn't fully set. Found a bustling street market after I got done from the Temple of Heaven. It was buzzing with energy, the air filled with the smells of cooking food, and the sounds of lively chatter. I found a tiny stall selling some kind of pancake-like thing. It was simple, but undeniably delicious.
The Great Wall & Minor Existential Crises (Day 3)
- 8:00 AM - Great Wall Prep: Coffee & Chaos: Up early! Coffee is essential. A frantic scramble to get ready. I'm perpetually late, it's a gift. Headed to the Great Wall.
- 10:00 AM - The Great Wall: Conqueror of Heights (and Mild Panic): Okay, this is it. The Wall. Pictures just don't do it justice. It's majestic. It's daunting. It's also…a lot of stairs. The climb felt like an eternity. I had to stop to catch my breath a few times. And then…the view. Just incredible. So many people and you felt so small walking the Wall. We made it!!!
- 1:00 PM - Lunch After Everest: A Well-Earned Feast: Back down the Wall, starving, and ready to devour anything. Went to a little family run restaurant. The food was amazing! Spicy, flavorful, and exactly what I needed after my epic climb.
- 3:00 PM - Back to the Hotel & Recovering: I went back to the hotel to relax.
- 7:00 PM - More Food: I just wanted to go easy that day so I decided to order from a local Chinese restaurant.
Farewell (Day 4)
- 9:00 AM - Last Bites & Lingering Regrets: A final breakfast at the Ascott, a bittersweet moment. Packing up, reflecting on the trip. Already planning my return…
- 10:00 AM - Shopping Spree (Because, Souvenirs!): Last-minute souvenir shopping. Found things I never knew I needed.
- 12:00 PM - Last Dumplings - A Final Embrace: One last dumpling stop before heading to the airport. A proper farewell.
- 3:00 PM - Departure: Back to the airport, back to reality. Beijing, you strange, beautiful, chaotic place. I'll be back. I swear.
This is just the skeleton of a trip, of course. Expect missed trains, wrong turns, embarrassing language mishaps, and moments of pure, unadulterated awe. This is Beijing. It's messy. It's wonderful. And it’s undeniably addicting. Now go out there and embrace the chaos! (And maybe learn a few Mandarin phrases before you go.)
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Okay, okay, *Escape to Paradise*? Is that what you SERIOUSLY call it? Did Ascott pay you? (Let’s be real.)
Look, no one’s paying me, alright? Wish they were, though. Free room service, maybe? A girl can dream. But *Escape to Paradise*? That’s *my* take. After slogging through Beijing traffic, the moment you step onto that property… well, the air actually *smells* different. It’s quieter. Cleaner. Less... honking. It’s a tiny, imperfect paradise, sure. Like, a slightly cracked teacup, but a beautiful cracked teacup. So yeah, I’m sticking with it. Sue me.
What's the *vibe* of the Ascott Riverside Garden? Is it… stuffy? Like, all polished marble and silent librarians?
Stuffy? God, no. Thank goodness. I'm allergic to stuffy. Okay, there’s definitely a level of elegance, don't get me wrong. But it's a *relaxed* elegance. Think… cozy robes, not starched collars. I wore my favorite, slightly stained, yoga pants to breakfast one morning (don't judge, it’s vacation!) and didn’t feel *too* out of place. The staff are lovely – genuinely helpful, not just programmed robots. Think charming, not chilling. The overall vibe is more "chill art gallery" than "stately manor." That’s if you understand my chaotic analogy
The *rooms*. Tell me about the rooms! I’m a stickler for a good room. And the beds! OH, THE BEDS!
Right, the rooms. Okay, here’s the truth: they’re gorgeous. I mean, *really* gorgeous. They’re spacious, filled with natural light (a HUGE win for avoiding that "cave dwelling" feeling), and tastefully decorated. But here's the *real* story. The first room I got? Yeah, it was lovely. But someone had clearly, *clearly* not been thorough with the cleaning. A crumb or two here, a little… something… on the desk. Nothing major, but it gave me pause. I’m not a princess, but I do expect a certain level of cleanliness. I immediately complained, a little internally panicking, and got moved to another room. And *that* room? Perfection. The bed… OMFG, the bed. Cloud-like, I died. I mean, I’m a bed snob. And this bed… it won. It was hard to leave.
The *location*. Is it actually… riverside? And how easy is it to get around? Because Beijing traffic… shudder.
Riverside? Kinda. You're next to a canal, but it's not like, a raging river. It’s pleasant, though, and provides a lovely view, especially at sunset. Okay, the real win? The location is fantastic. It's close to a bunch of attractions without being *smack dab* in the middle of tourist Hell. And the subway is super accessible! But, and this is a *big* but, Beijing traffic? It's a beast. Factor in extra time if you’re using taxis. I once spent TWO HOURS inching across the city for a dumpling experience. Two hours! Learn from my pain - factor in *all* the extra time. My therapist is working on it.
Let's talk *food*. What's the breakfast situation like? I'm a breakfast person. A very important breakfast person.
Okay, breakfast. This is crucial. The breakfast is… decent. It’s not the *best* hotel breakfast I’ve ever had (I'm still dreaming of a Parisian croissant), but it’s perfectly acceptable. Good coffee, a solid range of options (Western and Chinese), and the service is (mostly) efficient. But here's my biggest bugbear: one morning, the eggs were cold. COLD. And I, a breakfast person, was *devastated*. I complained (again, I have no shame), and they fixed it immediately. Also, the pastries are… a little hit-or-miss. But the fruit is fresh. So, overall, a solid B+. I mean, I survived. And the bacon was plentiful. Praise be, the bacon!
Any other facilities I should know about? Like, a gym? A pool? Do they have a spa where they beat you with bamboo sticks (asking for a friend)?
Yes! It has a gym, and a pool. The gym is… well, it's a gym. Treadmills, weights, the usual suspects. I may or may not have used it once. The pool looked lovely, I can tell you! It's very inviting-looking (unlike my gym habits). And, YES! They do have a spa! No bamboo sticks (thank God!), just lovely, relaxing treatments. I got a massage, and it was *divine*. Like, pure bliss. My knots from the Beijing traffic melted away. Highly, *highly* recommend that. Seriously, book a massage. Treat yourself. You deserve it. I could probably use one right now, actually…
What's one thing you ABSOLUTELY loved, and one thing that made you, like, twitch? (Be honest!)
Okay, honesty time. LOVED: The bed. I've already droned on about it, but seriously, the bed. My back is still thanking me. It was the most comfortable bed I've slept in *in my life*. And the staff – so friendly and helpful. Twitch-inducing: The slight inconsistency in cleaning. Really got under my skin, but hey, everyone makes mistakes. They fixed it, though, so it's all water under the bridge, I guess.
Would you go back? And would you *recommend* the Ascott Riverside Garden?
Absolutely, yes. Despite the slight cleaning hiccup, I would absolutely go back. And I highly recommend it, with a few caveats. If you're looking for a luxurious, relaxing base for exploring Beijing, and don't mind a few minor imperfections, then this is the place. Just book a room, request a bed, and prepare to be utterly destroyed by the best sleep of your life. And, for the love of all that is holy, get a massage. You won't regret it. Okay, time for more coffee. And maybe a nap.
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