Mama Syariah's Secret: Cengkareng's Best-Kept Halal Haven (Jakarta)
Mama Syariah's Secret: Cengkareng's Best-Kept Halal Haven (Jakarta)
The Grand Imperial Shakedown: A Review That's Probably Too Honest (and Slightly Exhausted)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I've just emerged from the… attempts dramatic flourish …Grand Imperial Hotel, and I’m here to tell you about it. This isn't your polished travel blog type of deal; this is unfiltered me, spilling the tea, the coffee, and maybe a little bit of leftover soup (more on that disaster later). Prepare for tangents, gripes, and maybe a few moments of genuine appreciation. This review is like the hotel itself: a bit of a mixed bag.
(SEO/Metadata Time!)
- Keywords: Grand Imperial Hotel Review, Hotel Accessibility, Wheelchair Accessible, Free Wi-Fi, Spa, Swimming Pool, Restaurant Review, Room Service, Hotel Services, Family Friendly Hotel, Childcare, Business Facilities, Pet-Friendly (Maybe?), Cleanliness, COVID-19 Safety, Luxury Hotel Review, International Cuisine, Asian Cuisine, Vegetarian Options, Meeting Facilities. (I hope that covers it!)
Let's dive in, shall we?
Accessibility: (Mostly) A Pass, With a Few Stumbles
Right off the bat, I was impressed. The elevator actually worked! (A small victory, I know, but after a few travel mishaps, it feels monumental.) They boast about being wheelchair accessible, and for the most part, they’re right. Wide doorways, ramps where needed, and… well, I think the pool has a lift? I didn’t actually see it in action, which, let's be honest, isn't ideal. But the ramps and general layout felt considerate, which is a HUGE plus. They clearly tried.
On-site restaurants/lounges:
They give you a choice, and I'll say that the atmosphere is pleasant. The overall food quality, however, is another issue.
Food Glorious (and Sometimes Questionable) Food
Okay, the food situation is where things get interesting.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking:
Breakfast! Buffet, Asian, Western, the whole shebang. But let's be honest: the buffet was a battlefield. I’m not a fan of buffets, but you have to eat, right? Cold eggs. Lukewarm bacon. The coffee tasted like it was brewed by a disgruntled robot. I was craving a decent cappuccino, but no dice. The Asian breakfast portion was a little better, thankfully, because, I just had to eat something. They did offer fresh fruit, which I devoured like a starving beast. There were some restaurants to explore I thought. The pool side bar was nice, and the international cuisine was decent.
The Room Service Saga
Here's the story of the aforementioned soup debacle. I ordered a soup from the room service menu. The delivery took… well, let’s just say I started to question my life choices while waiting. When it finally arrived, the soup was, to put it kindly, luke-warm. But the real kicker? It tasted like it had been rescued from the back of a fridge. I think I actually winced when I took a spoonful. I quickly called housekeeping, and they apologize for this, and said they'd make it up.
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling a Little Paranoid, But Okay
The COVID-19 protocols were… thorough. Hyper-thorough. Overwhelmingly thorough. They clearly take hygiene seriously, which is great. But it also felt a little…sterile. Staff was trained. Hand sanitizer everywhere. Individually wrapped everything. Daily disinfection. Constant reminders about sanitizing everything. If you’re a germaphobe, you’ll love it. If you’re like me, you start to question your sanity after a while. I found myself constantly washing my hands and side-eyeing everything. But hey, at least I didn't get sick, right? The hot water linen and laundry washing, and room sanitization opt-out available are important facilities.
The Spa: A Glimmer of Serenity, But…
Okay, the spa. Here’s where things actually got good. The pool with view was a welcome relief. The massage I got was divine. Pure, unadulterated bliss. They offered body scrubs and wraps. The sauna and steam room were legitimately relaxing. It was almost enough to make me forget about the lukewarm soup of doom.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: A Bit…Limited?
They have a fitnes center, however, my own experience showed that it was not very good. They also have a pool, which is good, but they didn't do anything special with it.
Rooms: Comfortable Enough, but… Standard
The room itself was fine. Air conditioning, check. Free Wi-Fi (thank GOD!), check. Comfortable bed, check. The view? Meh. Standard hotel room stuff. Nothing particularly memorable. The alarm clock was one of the old-school ones with the annoying beeping sound, and made me jump every morning.
Services and Conveniences: Everything You Need, and Nothing You Don't
They offer all the usual suspects: daily housekeeping, laundry service, concierge. They had a gift shop, which I briefly considered ransacking after the soup incident. Luggage storage was handy. The elevators actually worked, which is honestly a win at this point.
For the Kids: They Seemed to Think of Them.
They have kids facilities, and babysitting service. I don't have kids, so I didn't try them, but it's nice to know they have them.
Getting Around:
The car park was free, which is a plus. They offers taxi service and airport transfer.
Final Verdict: A Bit of a Mixed Bag, But… Probably Worth It?
Look, the Grand Imperial Hotel isn't perfect. It’s got its flaws. But it’s also got its strengths. If you want a clean, reasonably comfortable place to stay with decent access to amenities, it’s a solid choice. Just… maybe skip room service. And keep a healthy dose of skepticism handy.
Overall Rating: 3.5 Stars (Soup Deduction)
Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: GreenTree Alliance Hotel, Qinghuangdao Wanda Plaza!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your perfectly curated Instagram travel guide. We're diving headfirst into Mama Syariah Cengkareng, Jakarta, and trust me, it’s going to be a glorious, messy, and potentially chaotic adventure. Consider this less a schedule and more a survival guide with a side of existential dread (just kidding… mostly).
Operation: Cengkareng Chaos – A Mama Syariah Survival Guide (and Possibly a Breakdown)
Day 1: Pre-Trip Panic and Airport Anxiety (Plus the Food Glorious Food)
- 6:00 AM: Alarm screams. I contemplate faking a sudden coma. Decide against it because… travel, right? Still, a solid ten minutes of existential pondering. Why am I doing this? What if I get lost? What if I accidentally offend someone? Okay, deep breaths. Packing list check: Passport? Check. Underwear? …um, I think so.
- 7:00 AM: The Great Breakfast Debacle. Trying to find something that won't lead to immediate regret on a plane. Decide on a small bowl of oatmeal. I swear, I ate a whole, gigantic bowl of oatmeal; and then I felt like I couldn't breathe.
- 8:00 AM: Uber to Soekarno-Hatta International Airport (CGK). Traffic already feels like a personal vendetta. My driver keeps cutting people off whilst aggressively praying. I start praying too, albeit for a slightly smoother, less adrenaline-fueled journey.
- 9:00 AM: Airport Hell. Security lines snaking like a digital snake game. I'm pretty sure I saw a woman wearing a full-body floral jumpsuit. It’s beautiful, and I am jealous.
- 9:45 AM: Suddenly forgot where I put my boarding pass, start questioning my mental stability. After almost creating a full-blown scene and delaying the entire line, I finally find it in my bra, of all places. The woman behind me gives me a look that could curdle milk.
- 10:00 AM: Flight to Jakarta. Takeoff! I grip the armrest so hard I think I might leave fingerprints. The little kid in the seat behind me screams the entire ascent. It’s an excellent analogy for my emotional state.
- 12:00 PM: Arrive at Soekarno-Hatta. The air… it’s warm, humid, and smells vaguely of spices, diesel, and possibility. Feeling excited and terrified. The hotel's supposed to have a shuttle, right?
- 1:00 PM: Finally at Mama Syariah! It's…cute. A little worn, but charming and the staff are kind. Check-in is a breeze. The room smells like incense and old books. Kind of relaxing, actually.
- 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM: The Food Odyssey begins! Right, time to face the food! And good lord, is there food. I stumble upon a street vendor selling Nasi Uduk. It's a mountain of fluffy coconut rice, fried chicken, tempeh, and what seems to be the entire spice rack stuffed into a chili paste. My taste buds are screaming for joy. I eat three times the amount of which I should have. My stomach then proceeded to scream for a solid hour. Worth. Every. Bite. Observation: Indonesians have a serious relationship with spice.
- 4:00 - 6:00 PM: Nap time. The humidity has me utterly comatose. Plus, my stomach is still staging a protest.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a nearby restaurant. I choose something slightly less spicy, a Sate Ayam (chicken satay). More deliciousness. The peanut sauce is a religious experience. Try to politely refuse a second helping, but my stomach has ideas of its own.
- 9:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Crawl into bed, feeling like a stuffed sausage. Journal. Contemplate my life choices while fighting off mozzie bites. Realize I forgot to pack the bug spray. Groan. Welcome to Jakarta.
Day 2: The Madness Continues & The Temple That Moved Me
- 7:00 AM: Alarm. I consider hiding under the covers. But, gotta get out there!
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel: Nasi Goreng! The hotel's also serving a plate of deep-fried bananas. I tell myself I will only eat one. I eat four.
- 9:00 AM: Taman Mini Indonesia Indah (Beautiful Indonesia Miniature Park). This place is bonkers. Think a theme park of Indonesian culture, scaled down. It's a vast expanse, and I quickly realize I should have worn better shoes. The architecture is stunning, especially the replica temples. I spent most of my time in front of the most beautiful temple.
- 12:00 PM: More street food! This time, Batagor. Deep-fried tofu and fish cakes in peanut sauce. I’m pretty sure I’m becoming fluent in “food coma.”
- 1:00 PM - 4:00 PM: The Temple That Moved Me. So, if you aren't in a temple or in a church. Then what do you see? The temple. I found the whole temple-going experience unexpectedly profound. It's not just about the beautiful architecture; it's the atmosphere, the quiet contemplation, the feeling of something bigger than yourself. I ended up lingering for hours, just… existing.
- 5:00 PM: Back at the hotel. My feet are screaming. Time to order room service of iced tea.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner. Craving something other than street food (impossible). Try a local restaurant and order. I order a Gado-Gado. It’s a mixed vegetable salad with peanut sauce. I'm learning the Indonesian food language.
- 9:00 PM: Another mosquito battle. Finally find the nearest convenience store. Buy a whole bottle of bug spray. Spraying the room like a madman. Decide maybe I wasn't using enough before, and then I had to open the window to air it out. I am definitely still bitten.
Day 3: Shopping, Sightseeing, and the inevitable Meltdown… maybe?
- 8:00 AM: Start the day with a double dose of Nasi Goreng. I’m becoming a creature of habit (and deliciousness).
- 9:00 AM: Shopping Time! I head to a mall. The air conditioning is a blessed relief. I browse through the shops, and promptly buy something I will never use.
- 11:00 AM: National Monument (Monas). The iconic tower. I decide to climb it. The view is…okay. Honestly, the line up was a little exhausting.
- 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: This is where things get messy. I'm officially exhausted. The heat is brutal. I spend an hour just staring aimlessly. The language barrier starts to grate on me. I feel a little overwhelmed and want to lie down on the sidewalk, but my dignity says no.
- 3:00 PM: Find a coffee shop. Order a large latte. The caffeine helps. I journal, try to focus on the good, and breathe.
- 4:00 PM: The city traffic is insane, it's like they're trying to break a land speed record.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. Head to a local family-run restaurant. The food is home-cooked and delicious.
- 9:00 PM: The final mosquito battle of the trip. Mentally preparing for the journey home.
Day 4: Departure and the lingering Spice-Induced Nostalgia
- 7:00 AM: Final Nasi Goreng of the trip. Devour it like it’s my last meal on Earth (which, considering my food intake, it might as well be).
- 8:00 AM: Check out. Say goodbye to the friendly staff at Mama Syariah. I kinda dig the place.
- 9:00 AM: Uber to the airport. Traffic, traffic, and more traffic.
- 11:00 AM: Airport chaos, round two. I’m a pro at this point. (Well, mostly.)
- 1:00 PM: Flight home. Looking out the window, a strange sense of melancholy washes over me and then starts thinking again about food. What if I could bring that nasi goreng back, and what if I brought it back with me?
- Arrival: Home, sweet home. Jet lagged, slightly sunburnt
The Unofficial, Slightly Chaotic FAQ About… Well, *Stuff*. Maybe mostly *me*. And possibly internet things, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
1. So, like, what *is* this thing? Seriously. A website? A blog? Are you selling aggressively marketed artisanal goat cheese? (Because I’m honestly always up for some good cheese.)
Okay, deep breaths. This…thing… is a collection of my thoughts, experiences, and probably a healthy dose of oversharing. It's supposed to be helpful (in a vague, slightly cynical way), but mostly, it's just me, rambling. No artisanal goat cheese, I’m afraid. Though, now that you mention it… *starts googling ‘easiest goat cheese recipes’* Hmmm… Stay tuned.
2. Why am I even reading this? What’s the point? Is there a point?!
Look, I'm not your mother, I don’t know what your life choices are. Seriously. But here's the deal: I figure if I find myself pondering something, *someone* else out there probably is too. Maybe you’re here because you stumbled in by accident, like I do with everything. Maybe you're bored. Maybe you have no other pressing concerns. Seriously, you'll probably be regretting it soon! But, what's the absolute worst thing that can happen? You waste 5 minutes. Or maybe, you find something useful, or relatable, or at least mildly amusing. That's the *hope*. And let me tell you, I NEED hope.
3. Okay, fine. What’s your *actual* background? Like, are you some sort of expert? Or a professional? (God, I hope not, because I need fewer of those in my life.)
Expert? Please. Professional? LOL. Let’s just say I have a *lot* of experience in the art of making mistakes. I've lived a life. I've seen stuff. I've screwed up royally more times than I can count. And, let’s be honest, I'm probably still screwing up right now. But hey, at least I'm self-aware, right? That's like, 50% of the battle. The other 50%? Don't ask.
4. What’s the *worst* thing that’s ever happened to you? Get real, give me the trauma dumping.
Okay, I'll tell you one, just one. And it’s not even the *worst* thing. But, it's up there in the most mortifying experiences (and that's saying something). I was, maybe 16 or so. And I was at a formal dance, yeah, *those* types. I was *obsessed* with looking good, you understand. I had spent like, a month, choosing a specific black dress. This dress had a really tight bodice–which, at the time, I thought was elegant and flattering, even though I couldn't breathe in it. And the heels? They were sky-high. And the worst part of the night? As I was awkwardly shuffling across the dance floor, you know, trying to look graceful, I tripped. And I didn’t just trip. Oh no, that would be *too* easy. I *fully* faceplanted. Right in front of the entire gym hall. My date? Gone. My dress ripped. My dignity? Also gone. All that was left? The lingering scent of hairspray and a whole lot of shame. It was legendary. I wanted to crawl in a hole. I kinda still want to crawl in a hole, just thinking about it.
5. Speaking of shame… You mentioned mistakes. Spill the tea, already! What are your biggest regrets? Don't be shy.
Oh, regrets. We could be here all week. But the biggest one? Probably not trusting my gut. That little voice in your head that screams "NO!"? Yeah, I ignored it way too many times. Like, that job I took because it *sounded* good, even though I knew deep down it would be a train wreck? Yep. Or that relationship where I really wanted to be loved and was willing to overlook red flags that were basically neon signs? You betcha. I'm a slow learner. But I swear, I'm getting better. (Probably.)
6. So, what *are* you actually excited about right now? Something good must be happening, right?
Okay, okay, let’s get positive for a minute. Right now? I'm ridiculously excited about… well, lots of little things. The fact that my cat finally started sitting on my lap *again*. That a new season of a show I love is out next week. Mostly, though? I'm excited about the potential. The potential to try new things, to learn, to not make the same mistakes twice (fingers crossed!). It's not much, but it's something. And you know what? Sometimes, that's enough. Honestly, more than enough.
7. Do you have any secret talents? Like, can you whistle with your tongue? Make a mean grilled cheese? Reveal them!
Secret talents, eh? Well, I can't whistle with my tongue (though I've tried!). I can't make a mean grilled cheese–I burn them. So, I'll skip all that! But I *can* write (duh!), and I'm surprisingly good at finding things on the internet. Like, if you wanted to know the exact shade of green that's used on the inside of a specific brand of vintage refrigerator, I’d probably be able to find it. I'm also good at remembering useless trivia. Which, I'll admit, doesn't pay the bills. But hey, it’s something, right?!
8. What's your take on the world? (No pressure)
The world? A glorious, messy, beautiful, terrifying dumpster fire of a place. But mostly glorious, if you squint a little and ignore all the awful bits. It really is a wild ride, and I’m just clinging on for dear life. The fact that we’re all here, on this spinning rock… it’s mind-boggling. Seriously. It's like, how did we even get here? And where are we *actually* going? I don't know the answers. But I'm along for the ride, hoping to learn, connect, and maybe, just maybe, make a tiny, insignificant dent in the chaos. One post at a time. Santorini's Hidden Gem: Winery Hotel 1870 – Unforgettable Luxury Awaits
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